#insert crying emoji several times to this post

[axvwriter]

Couple of Abandoned villainess sketches

I haven't been doing digital art lately, for a few different reasons. One of them was that my chair was bugging me. I got a new chair so I looked at my art drafts to test if this chair will help or not.

I should have written some notes down on what I wanted to do with some of these sketches. The drafts I have are two that relate to the short burst of villainess-au stuff @officialdaydreamer00 came up with. Such as drawing the house emblem and drawing a dress for Irene Lovejoy.

The other two drafts are me struggling to draw Bobo as a mermaid (the more common design, I already have a mantis shrimp design out for her) and some twst outfits for her. (Of which do have notes for)

So, sorry Kris. I meant to draw some cool stuff but I ended up never really getting around to them.

This was pretty straight-forward. I started with the beak a few minutes ago and realized I just don't want to. I think all motivation/inspiration for these two sketches have shriveled and died. I have @identity-theft-101's Remy in the corner with a little handaxe. As I feel like out of all axes Remy would have, it would be a normal one.

I think I wanted to do some sort of eye pattern with the lace? Not sure if I had any more details in mind than just feathery ends to the dress and its sleeves. I wanted to do some feathery-ness to the high-heels too.

Gosh I'm still struggling to figure out how to draw humans, so far I do these rough mannequin sketches before putting an outfit on. I don't know if I had anything special in mind for the gloves. I really should have written notes.

Considering I didn't and thus don't remember what I envisioned, I'm leaving it at this.

[subway-boss-jericho]

(Art anon… hammer anon? This is going to be funny when I inevitably post that art (I am actively making sketches help))

Oooo I freaking. Love it when one delves into the Implications. Like- both parties agreed to this, but neither knew what it would actually Be Like and now they are just showing their Whole Soul to another person and it can be absolutely Terrifying! But they are going to communicate anyway. Because they care about each other enough to. Because the other person is Worth It.

(also love that Emmet asked ingo if he wanted to fuse so they could never be apart again and ingo said Yes. This means so much to me. I don’t even have words I’m just. *gestures franticly*)

(I am Very Incredibly Normal about Diamond Crossing. So Normal)

I love this. Shaking coupled (uncoupled) so hard now. I think it’s actually Really Cool how a lot of the people in this fandom are like “yes the twins have a good relationship but that’s because they Talk with one another and seek to Understand each other” fusion is just another Fantastic way to symbolize that! (And ough I would Love to see more less acknowledged emotions and relationships there too. It’s So Much Fun to play around with)

not! Asking you to spoil the whole plot! I’d freaking Love to read whatever fic you write about it =D

feel free to continue to use my asks to Absolutely Go Off. it is verrry fun to read!

Yep (nodding my head) they DEFINITELY communicate with eachother. That definitely happens and nothing goes wrong. Trust /lh

Read: They Get There Eventually.

My favorite part about Coupled (Uncoupled) is that fusion is not the magical cure-all to Emmet's anxieties that he wanted it to be. It makes the story much more nuanced and fun to explore, although it does also make it much more sad and upsetting before it eventually gets a lot brighter. And like I mentioned on the master post, he is Not stuck like that. Yknow. Forever :]

(Rest of the Jericho-typical ramble continued below!)

(insert crying emoji that isn't on tumblr) Yeah. It means a lot to me too. The thing that hurts most about the story, which I will ""spoil,"" is that Emmet does kinda blame himself for things "going wrong" (read: not being how he expected), and by extension in his upset + anxiety, he forgets that Ingo explicitly agreed to try it with him. The first + second major arcs in coupled uncoupled are the hard emotional parts that make the later resolutions feel all the more powerful and unshakable, but even in the beginning, Ingo had always agreed to at least try. Even before things are resolved, the core emotional foundation of this domino effect chain was still always trust and love.

High fives in So Normal About Diamond Crossing. we're so normal.

You inadvertently inspiring me to ramble about Coupled (Uncoupled) has had the accidental effect of making me think about it a Lot. I'm so fucking glad someone else is shaking them besides me (and again, the few close friends I talk about my AUs with,) because holy SHIT I want to talk about them + share their story + make their story + draw them all the time so bad it makes me look STUPID but I have also failed to talk about them Anywhere online before this point. It's one of the stories I'm the most tight-lipped about since I actually Want To Write It, downside of that is that I, by extension, never get to talk about it Or, never got to before now :D thank you again! infinitely! forever!

Accidental side effect: rip to Steady Tracks, I have not added any more words to the document for several days. Because I have been staring at my computer and being so ill about coupled (uncoupled). I WILL be back to it very soon though, I refuse to let my attention... waver :p

Anyways, yeah, while I love a good "we fit perfectly together" pair like Ingo and Emmet, I also really really love it even more when that intensely strong bond is build on a firm, realistic foundation of mutual care, support, and communication. So a lot of my AUs exist because of me wanting to stress-test that devotion/appreciation/commitment to work out problems, which makes things Extremely Fun to write but also oooohhh.... so goddamn complicated...... This is why I consider myself a "Hurt/Comfort" writer, because I almost universally find stories most compelling if they drop to very low points, dark moments, or genuine, heart-breaking struggles, only to show that this earnest and wholly compassionate care does and will always prevail in the end. That (a relationship) is not about never having problems, but about learning to solve them and being committed to recovery/change after the fact.

Gonna move on before I sob about them. I care them SO much, and coupled (uncoupled) is one of the strongest examples of this in my writing. They have gone, are going, and will continue to go the distance for eachother, thick and thin.

Minor side-tangent based on the last thing about other relationships/dynamics in fusion-

(Edit: After writing a lot more I realized quickly that this was, in fact, not a minor side tangent. It is in fact a major and worthwhile extrapolation on how i feel, however might also be mildly uncomfortable to discuss, and that's okay. If you don't want to hear me talk about my frustration with how our society bastardizes close platonic relationships, you can stop reading at any time or skip to the bottom 👍)

One of the other reasons I haven't talked about Coupled (Uncoupled) online yet is because I get really nervous about it. Fusion is very frequently connoted as romantic, and the coupled twins themselves are very physically affectionate with eachother (yknow, before & after the Horrors™) and so internally I've always been a little worried that people will think I am being weird/creepy/portraying them in a way that is 'too far' for some people, or just generally that people will misinterpret them having a good and healthy relationship with them having an unhealthy and uncool 'relationship.' you get my drift.

On the scale from Aro/Ace-to-Allo I am so fucking far into the side of Not Experiencing Romantic or Sexual Feelings Of Any Kind that I often fear my very firm and active appreciation + inclusion of platonic affection will be taken the wrong way in. Yknow. The twins' familial context.

If it helps put it in perspective, nothing I ever write the twins doing is stuff that I wouldn't also do with close friends and family. I like platonic hand holding. I like platonic cuddles. I like being tangled in a platonic knot of limbs on the couch. I like platonic forehead kisses sometimes. Hell, I got to have a friend over for thanksgiving and I recently got a really comfortable but also large bed, and instead of banishing them to the couch I gave them a spot next to me. (it's a big fuckin bed??? it's a BIG bed. Styled to look like a couch. Very cool and much needed QoL upgrade for me) and it was probably the best and easiest night of sleep I've had in actual months. I bonk foreheads with my little brother, I hug my dad as closely to my chest as I can. So while my relationship with affection and how to show it physically is perhaps pushing the normal societally accepted expectations, it brings me a lot of joy.

And I want my art/writing to be able to express that through the twins without it having some kind of fetishized romantic connotation, because it bothers me a lot when the level of affection that I view as healthy and appropriate within platonic boundaries is Forced to be coded as romantic. (shipping family members together in general just, really makes me violently uncomfortable beyond a way i can put into words. I'm not going to go into it but there was a point in time after I had been on the internet long enough to know that it has bad/uncomfortable sides that I started distancing myself from my family IRL, and only recently started to open up again)

aw shit that ended up being long and serious. well uh, sorry. Probably not the ramble you were hoping for ;^; I care a lot about the coupled twins, and especially how close they are, so by extension it also takes me a lot of vulnerability to post about them online when I know the internet can warp and twist the things i love into something disturbing and upsetting to me. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen, but I can't really control what other people will think, say, or do. I just hope they don't get me involved :[

So, while not spoiling the "whole plot," I think it's easy for me to say that Coupled (Uncoupled) is built on an intense, unconditional love. The whole story is about love. The whole story is about how loving people is hard, about how loving someone means putting in the work to understand and know eachother. About how love can hurt you, but how real, strong love built on a foundation of trust and compassion will heal you far more than it can ever hurt you. there's a reason why the AU is named how it is.

cool I'm gonna go explode into tears about them now 🥺 im real fucked up about Coupled (Uncoupled).

(Actually I do want to note, you accidentally encouraging me to ramble about them is Also why I didn't immediately answer this ask and the next one. Because I was thinking about them so hard I couldn't actually think straight long enough to write the reply I wanted to yesterday.)

As always, thank you for the ask! 🤍 It is appreciated beyond words. Although I feel like the sheer number of words I use to answer them are pretty clear indicators of how much fun I'm having + how much this means to me

[Emmet-Black sketchbook doodle; The first time they fuse.]

Coupled (Uncoupled)Masterpost

[readychilledwine]

Hello lovelies! Long post regarding requests below the cut 💜

Tldr located at the bottom. 💜

I currently have over 30 things in my inbox 😬

I am in the process of trying to condense similar requests down to maybe give a few people who are requesting very similar things something that covers what both parties want.

I also am just going to be just responding to some instead of giving them full fics or drabbles. There's a few that are very similar to fics I've already posted, WIPS I already have, or their ideas for things I've made multipart fics.

If it's similar to one I've posted, I'm concerned with those that I may end up almost copy and pasting with a few name changes, and that's not the content quality I want to give all of you nor the expectation I have of myself, so I will not be fulfilling those requests at the moment, but I want your ideas to be out there for someone else. If it's similar to a WIP, I'm responding with a preview of what's written. If it's an idea for an existing multipiece, you may get a little preview, or just the side eye emojis if I'm trying to keep things sneaky sneaky (like I am with Bound by Fate and Cat and Mouse)

*heavy sigh here*

Warnings for this next part - discussion things in my inbox related to requests I'm receiving for (insert several SJM males x pregnant reader)

I really don't know how to address this next part without risking some people getting upset, but I have to. If this next part upsets you, please know this is a me thing, not a you thing, and I genuinely hate saying no.

There's a few requests I'm going to let sit for a little bit or just delete, and if you are one of those people who sent them, I'm so sorry.

There's a lot that would require me to address very real fears that I, as a pregnant woman and soon to be mother, am currently dealing with, counteract, and have to watch for. I know it comes off very excuse-y because "writing is therapy," but I don't think any amount of therapy really stops a mother from being afraid for the safety and health of their child, especially a newborn who relies so heavily on you.

I've tried multiple times to start a request that's started to affect my own dreams about my child, myself, and what my poor baby daddy would do if someone took us from him, and, to be frank, he's closed my laptop when I start doing the thousand mile stare, begin stage one of hyperventilating, and crying. He loves that you all support me, but we have spent the night talking about it, and this needs to be a temporary boundary for a little bit, and it may become a permanent one.

Again, I am so sorry, but I have to keep my emotional and mental well-being stable and safe for our daughter while she finishes baking to perfection the next couple of months. I will happily give you all nesting and warm happy pregnancy feelings and emotions. I'll address minor pregnancy angsts as well, like days with light movement, the anxiety that sets in between appointments, the fights my boyfriend and I and a ton of other expecting couples go through, but I do kindly have to ask that kidnapped pregnant readers enduring torture, kidnapped babies, killed off (via torture or death during labor) pregnant readers, and still birth requests stop coming to my inbox. I just can't handle them this late into my pregnancy.

Tldr and skipped below - Elizabeth will be going through and posting requests or responding to them. She loves requests and wants them, but she also has asked that people stop sending her requests regarding the following

Kidnapped newborns

Pregnant readers being tortured/forced into preterm labor

Pregnant reader dying during labor

Pregnant reader being murdered and the baby is taken

And my personal favorite nightmare inducing senerio- acotar male x pregnant reader with a stillborn.

Again, send requests. I love them. Please just consider if I'm actually the right person for it. Again, I am very sorry to anyone who may be disappointed now, but hopefully, I can fulfill your imagination other ways. 💜

[isagisyoichi]

PINKY STAR (RUN) :｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

SYNOPSIS: isagi as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: isagi yoichi my boyfriend of many several years

WARNINGS: swearing? i think idk i forget also yah pretend they all go to the same school and stuff. also horribly self indulgent if u couldn't already tell

A/N: if you remember my old one delete it from your memory it was literally so bad help anyways the re-up because my boyfriend deserves better. also i really like this one and i feel like it’s more in character for him :P lol i've had this in my drafts for like, ever <3 but also my last post for a while because i have ap exams and my sat soon :P

FOR: the anon that asked me where my original isagi bf hcs went :’)

after the initial awkwardness of being in a new relationship fades and you two become comfortable with each other, a relationship with isagi would be like dating your slightly awkward best friend who you make out with sometimes.

like, i don’t really see isagi being high maintenance, so i feel like a relationship with him would definitely be on the relaxed side, but still romantic, you know?

isagi’s inner monologue is so funny and he definitely lets his thoughts out to you. it makes you laugh to see your usually friendly-to-all boyfriend have his moments, too.

you guys are one of those couples that give each other a look when someone’s doing something weird in public #telepathicconnection <3

but, isagi’s really such a sweetie with you. i know user isagisyoichi may be slightly biased when they say this, but believe me when i say that isagi’s 100% boyfriend material.

walks you to class whenever he can. always either holding your hand as he listens attentively to you complaining about school.

writes down things he feels are important about you in a digital note entitled “y/n 💗,” so he can remember them in the future.

isagi's used to talking to all kinds of people, so even if you're not the most talkative, he can adjust with no problem.

and he’ll always entertain you about whatever stupid conversation you wanna have.

kinda basic with pet names. babe, baby, dork (he would, i don’t wanna hear it), are his usual rotation.

randomly compliments you/says these really romantic things out of nowhere because he can’t control himself and often blurts things out.

“yeah, of course, when we get married, i’ll-”

“when we get married?” you inquire as you cut isagi off. you two have never discussed marriage, just but the thought of isagi wanting to spend the rest of his life with you is enough to make your head spin.

isagi’s eyes go wide when he realizes what he’s said. damn his mouth that moves faster than his mind.

swallowing hard and taking a breath, isagi says, “y-yeah, when we get married,” further affirming his statement with a nod, albeit a bit of a nervous one.

now both of you guys are flustered LOL.

likes to sit his head in your lap and have you play with his hair, while you two talk or just sit in silence.

such a good listener, perfect person to rant about anything with. he’s very understanding, he’ll hold you if you need him to, wipe your tears if you’re crying, give you advice if you need it, just overall so sweet.

also always knows when you're sad because of his intuition. isagi encourages you to open up to him, but ultimately doesn’t force you, just lets you know that he’s always there for you <3

(that's kind of lie because isagi does pry a little LOL, but he means well)

takes care of you! nags you a little, tries his best to make sure you're not doing anything stupid, and if you are, that someone responsible (him) is watching you, looks after you when you’re sick, etc.

gives you his jacket when you’re cold (he’s been waiting to do that his whole life bro LMAOO), carries your things, always texts you good morning and good night, just overall sooo good to you.

but as soft as he is for you, isagi does have this tendency to get these random spouts of confidence, so sometimes he’ll say or do something really bold out of nowhere.

like, he’ll suddenly grab your waist and pull you closer to him, or he’ll kiss you out of the blue. the flustered expression that rests on your face for a change always makes him smirk *heart eyes*

in general, though, isagi's still kind of awkward sometimes regardless and does say or do things that make you go "???" and make him be like "why did i do that" LOL he's so cute though <333

he’s pretty basic with dates, usually opts for things like restaurants, walks in the parks, movie nights, or stuff like that, but they’re still really fun!

but, if you ever want to do something out of the norm, he wouldn't be opposed to it, either. but, you do have to tell him ‘cause he's not a mind reader lol.

(okay but, one time, isagi tried to watch a scary movie with you because he wanted to do that thing where he wraps his arm around you during the scary parts, but HE ended up being scared instead 😭)

isagi’s the type to put your name with a heart emoji or the date you guys started dating in his instagram bio LOL

y/n 💓 IHS Forward #10 ⚽️ *insert some soccer quote about grinding*

it’s a bit middle school, but you let it slide because you know he just wants to show you off <3

study sessions are normal between you two but, you guys always get bored or distracted halfway through and start watching youtube or something LOL.

it’s canon he’s a thigh man lol, so if he ever sees you wearing an oversized shirt, especially one of his, with shorts, isagi will literally short circuit in real life.

he keeps his hand on your thigh when you guys cuddle that day, tracing patterns on your skin, or just squeezing it every now and then.

in general, though, isagi likes poking at and playing with them whenever they're out <3

once, isagi wanted you to do that trend on tiktok where he sits between your thighs and stuff, but he had no idea how to bring it up LOL

so, isagi just watched tiktoks of it in front of you and hoped eventually you would get the hint 🙄

and you did, thanks to his incredible lack of subtly. he doesn’t even care when you giggle and tell him how bad he is at being slick, isagi got your thighs around him, he won!!!!!!

takes a picture (or two or three) to savor the moment.

(even though he could literally just ask you to do it again in the future, but whatever, i guess)

when you’re dating isagi, the team comes with him too LOL

they’re always snapchatting you pictures of isagi when they’re hanging out without you, with stupid captions like, “look how sad your boyfriend is without you 😞”

isagi’s not even sad in the picture, he’s just confused as to why they’re shoving a camera in his face 😭

isagi one hundred percent attempts to get you to run the mile with him during gym if you don’t already.

“babe, just try!” isagi pants, as he catches up to you and your friends, as you guys are still on your second lap.

admittedly, the effort is cute, but beloved, i hate to break it to you- i will not be doing anything of the sort.

he will sit down or walk around with you after you finish the mile, though. if he’s not already playing soccer lollll.

when he does choose to go with you, expect exclamations from the team about how isagi “abandoned us for his little relationship” 👎

isagi’s receiving love language is words of affirmation (also basically canon LOL) so, he really values the compliments you give him with his whole heart.

you could tell him how his hair looks nice in the morning, and isagi will think about it all day.

whether it be about how cute he is, or how talented of a player he is, isagi really is happiest when you praise him <3

speaking of soccer, isagi has this tendency to get lost in the moment and talk your head off about some soccer related tangent that probably makes no sense to you.

his eyes light up and his voice is just oozing with passion for what he does as he goes into detail about how he made this crazy goal at practice while you stare at him with the biggest heart eyes ever, adoring his dedication.

and of course when isagi realizes he was rambling, he apologizes profusely for “boring” you, like the gentleman he is.

but when you reassure him that he could never bore you and that you want nothing more than for him to go on, isagi begins to feels lightheaded due to his adoration for you <3

if you're the type to go all out when it supporting isagi at soccer- like make one of those corny signs, yell from the crowd, wear his spare jersey to games, isagi will physically have to withhold his heart from jumping out his chest.

he's a little embarrassed that you're doing all that for him, but the effort means soooo much to him.

and speaking of soccer, it would mean a lot to isagi if you not only supported him at games and stuff, but expressed an interest in learning more about soccer as a whole, too.

you know, learn a little more about the game on your own accord, ask him to teach you how to properly play, or even challenge him to a one on one, do stuff like that, and he’ll literally be head over heels for you. well, more than he already is.

(he always goes easy on you on your guys 1v1's and he thinks your efforts are adorable, no matter how much you may or may not suck)

he'd repay the effort and try to get interested in whatever your hobbies are!

also, you can get him to do almost anything if you pout and beg hard enough, you’re literally so hard to say no to in isagi’s eyes <3

isagi’s the type to not realize when other people are flirting with him LOL

he just thinks they’re being nice (unless they’re being straight up) and i don’t think he would really process it because he’s so focused on you romantically, if that makes sense.

once he realizes you’re jealous, isagi apologizes earnestly, reassuring you over and over again that you're everything he could ask for and that he would never intentionally try to hurt you and all that jazz.

although, i will admit, sometimes isagi’s kinda smug when you're jealous, especially when it’s over a dumb reason 👎

however, when he’s jealous i feel like it could go one of two ways-

on normal days, isagi would just stand there to “intimidate” the other person, maybe cough a little for emphasis until they go away lol.

but on days where he’s already mad/filled with adrenaline/or someone’s really not taking a hint and you’re visibly uncomfortable- oh boy, it’s like a switch flips in him.

has those same fiery eyes he has during the climax of a game. the energy he’s exuding is dead serious, and that alone is enough for the person bothering you to go away. not bad for a man that’s only 5’8 🥰

adding on, isagi doesn’t take any shit about you, ever. even if it’s from his friends. usually isagi’s very neutral and doesn’t actively try to start conflict, but there are some things he’ll always defend and you’re one of them.

isagi always listens/watches/reads/etc whatever you recommend him (on that note, please recommend him good anime because isagi’s out here willingly telling people his favorite anime is darling in the franxx), even if he doesn’t necessarily like it LOL

you could show isagi objectively, the worst song ever and he would be like “yeah, it was good babe!” (it was not)

also does the same thing when you bring him shopping with you, like he's absolutely NO HELP 😭

you could try on the ugliest sweater known to man and he’d like “you look nice 🙂” pls be honest isagi, you can say it’s hideous!!!!!!

but isagi’s also being somewhat truthful in his statement because he does genuinely think you look nice in everything <3

also loves when you wear his clothes- always feels a mixture between pride and slight shyness?

kinda lol idk but overall, isagi really is sooo happy you wanna show him off that much, especially when you're wearing something of his around his friends :')

he says “i love you” first, no doubt.

he’s a bit nervous when he does because he doesn’t know if you’ll reciprocate, but he really does love you and he feels like he physically can’t hold it in anymore.

“i promise you don’t have to say it back!” isagi reassures anxiously. “i know it’s a really big commitment, and if it’s too early for you right now-”

“i love you, too.”

[chamaleonsoul]

Now that the tour is over I feel like I can say I think you totally won this tour. Your show was the best. Biggest show on the tour. Calum in that suit with the mesh shirt. Ashton quite literally glowing like he had been blessed by some rock entity. Michael on his knees with that pink shirt. Luke with the mm&i suit. First live performance of mm&i. You got talk fast, beside you AND lover of mine. Calum calling everyone hot in Spanish. Also that clip of him throwing the bear. Amazing. I have a live stream of that show saved that i catch myself watching sometimes cuz it was just that good. That's all I wanted to say.

Anna, ,,,,,

dude, I,

are you trying to make me cry. i'm about to.

and now i'm about to go on a ramble so bear with me.

*loud sigh* yeah, okay. Yes. I, of course, agree with you. and you bringing up this after just a couple of days ago i got terribly sentimental about it.... yeah. I think it was during the weekend while I was making breakfast when my brain went HEY *SLAP* remember this? And it was when the vocalist of the opening act (Bruses) was telling us how they got to the show, how 5sos were interested in having someone local, and how she was living in some small appartment just a few months ago, trying to make the music thing work, and now (so, the day of the show) they were playing to 18k people, and she couldn't believe it. And then everyone started chanting "sí se pudo" (there's no direct translation with the same meaning, but that would be smth like "you made it"), and it got pretty emotional, even when, i'm sure, many of us heard of them for the first time that same day. They gave a very good show, with an ode to the chorus of Helena by MCR at the end, which my emo ass appreciated a lot, thanked us for being a supportive crowd and then left us ready for 5sos.

Naturally, that got me thinking of the whole show and going through my ig post and all the shaky videos i took. And honestly u mentioning all these pivotal points of the show has me very

because, yeah, Ash was glowing that night and i still can hear his voice crystal clear in my head, just like Luke's angelic vocals and Calum's accent while talking in spanish [insert multiple smiley crying emojis here]. And Talk Fast 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 it sounds so dramatic but if i had died without listening to talk fast live and in person at least once, i'd have haunted the earth forever. (But i won't have to!! bc i got to hear it🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰) And the bear you mention, the funniest part is that it wasn't a bear, it's actually a Dr. Simi jsdjjssjsjhd Farmacias Similares is a pharmacy chain that has it's own 'pet', which is our dear Mr. Dr. Simi here:

and it's become sort of a tradition over the last few years to bring these little guys to concerts, with different styles and costumes and throw them to bands during shows (it's happened with MCR, Gorillaz, Coldplay, etc). and i'm sure several got thrown at 5sos<3 jsjs

anyways, the show was incredible, the boys kill it in every way possible and even though we were all squished together in pit during the first half of the show, i'm sure everyone had the time of their lives. And when we were leaving the venue, someone started singing the chorus of yb and we all started singing along and honestly dude🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i fucking love human connection over music. I can't wait to see them live again.

I'll go cry a bit now, if you excuse me

[magicalgirlsandcerulean]

Ep. 10's blog post

This blog post, with Hori's second entrance, is dated 15th June 2021. Spoilers below, as always!

Notes before we begin:

For those of you who didn't check out ep. 9's blog post, see tweet 2 on that for more info about one of the characters of the day.

Due to the unintended delay on this post, I've tried to translate more completely than usual and that caused the release of this post to be postponed by another day...Sorry. Even still, consult the actual post for proper placement of emojis, coloured text etc.

This time, just for efficiency's sake, I skipped a lot of the honorifics because Hori refers to Takara, Tina and Tsumahara as -san. I've only left it in for "Balle-san" (a one-off) and when other people refer to Hori as "Hori-san" (as opposed to when Hori calls himself "Hori" with no honorific).

Also, an advance note that you'll probably want to cry when Hori pulls out the crying kaomoji. (I wanted to cry at two points when he did, at least.)

CR translations were used where I could chase them up.

Post title: バリバリのバリの禁忌其の拾！

The Very Vigorous Taboo No. Ten! [T/N: バリバリのバリ (baribari no bari) has some obvious repetition in Japanese, so I had to try convey that in English as well, even though small!Takara is more "working hard" than "vigorous". The final "bari" is a Hakata dialect thing - we already know Hori is from Fukuoka, so that fits. I had to translate the title because this phrase appears later on.]

皆様、お世話になっております。

Everyone, thank you for taking care of me. Fairy蘭丸〜あなたの心お助けします〜で雅楽代 寶 を演じております、堀 曜宏と申します。

I am called Akihiro Hori, who voices Takara Utashiro in Fairy Ranmaru ~We Will Help Your Heart~. 又の名をジャガイモ堀堀です、本日は何卒よろしくお願いします。

Also known as "Potato Digging Hori", please kindly take care of me today. [T/N: "Potato digging" = jagaimo hori, so "potato digging Hori" = jagaimo hori Hori. It also makes reference to the ep. where the kids dug up potatoes.] 禁忌其の拾『快楽』熱かったですね！！！

Episode 10, "Hedonism", was passionate, wasn't it?!!! 今回は寶さんの二回目のお当番回ということで、本編を見返しながら楽しめるような感想を主観ですが、勢いと共に書かせて頂きたいと思います。

This time was Takara's second focus episode. Although we see [elements] that recur from the original story [ep. 5], the impressions we are able to enjoy are subjective and so I will write with fervour. 開幕は女王チームとの密談からSTART!!

We START by opening the curtain on the queen team's private talk!! [T/N: "Queen team" = Queen + Houjou (+ sloth).] シリウスについて女王からせっつかれている寶さん。

The Queen is pestering Takara about Sirius. 座長…誰の台詞が麩菓子じゃい！！！！

Leader...whose lines are fugashi!!!! [T/N: Fugashi are a type of Japanese sweet. There are sweet potato fugashi, so I assume this is either a typo or a pun on a similar word. If it's a pun, the word is likely to be おかしい (strange, suspicious, unbecoming).] [T/N 2: The line below suggests "leader" (zachou) = Ranmaru, so this sentence would be referring to Sakata.] でも生配信で話している時の堀からは想像できないと思いますが…実は普段の堀は、どうやら寶さんの女王様に対する話し方くらいのらりくらりでみんなと通話しているらしく、このシーンをみんなで見てる時、ざちょ「堀さんだ」草「堀さんだねぇ」なんて言われながらみんなに笑われておりました。

However, while the stream was happening, I couldn't imagine this, but...to tell the truth, the way I usually speak to everyone is like Takara's non-committal way of speaking to the Queen, so when everyone saw this scene, the leader [Sakata] went, "That's Hori-san," and Kusano went, "That's Hori-san, isn't it?" without saying anything and so everyone laughed. 電話が切れた後の豊穣さんと女王の会話から、寶さんのお父上が夭聖界にとって如何に大事な存在だったかがわかります。

After the call was cut, we learn how important Takara's father is in the fairy world from Houjou and the Queen's conversation. そんな豊穣さんからの厚い信頼に応えるように、どこかのお姉さんへお誘いをかける寶さん…

While proving worthy of Houjou's kind confidence, Takara is asking a girl out somewhere... お相手の名前、ayakoさんって面白い名前だなぁと思ってたら、堀気づいちゃいました。[T/N: The source text, as you can see when you pause the ep. at the right time, is meant to say "[at sign]yako", but the at sign was tripping the "mention a user" function in Tumblr, so I had to swap it out with a lowercase A where it appears in this post.]

His partner's name is "ayako", which I thought was an amusing name. これ、あやこって読むんですね！！！（アハ体験）

This is read "Ayako", isn't it?!!! (a-ha moment) そしてはい、きました、 バリバリのバリのショタカラさん！！！！（人間体）

Also, we got to see him, the very vigorous sho-Takara!!!! (human form) [T/N: Literally "we got to see him" was "[he] came", LOL.] [T/N 2: Sho-Takara = shota (prepubescent boy) + Takara.] あまりの可愛さにコメントも騒然としましたね。

There was an uproar in the comments that he's excessively cute. 回想シーンでは以前も登場した、弁護士さんと寶さんの関係も明らかになりました。

The relationship between the lawyer, who's appeared before this flashback scene, and Takara is also made clear. 弁護士さんも元夭聖、しかも寶さんのお父上とただならぬ関係だったみたいです。

The lawyer was also from the fairy world and had a strong relationship with Takara's father. 幼い寶さんは弁護士さんからどんな風に人間界の生き方を仕込まれたんでしょうか…

What sort of way of living in the human world did the very young Takara learn from the lawyer...? 半裸シーツで肌に傷をおった姿のショタカラさんが、窓の外を見上げながら「いつかきっと… 」と呟く様子にその壮絶さを感じます。

The half-naked and wounded sho-Takara, looking out the window and whispering, "Someday, surely..." [gives off a] heroic feeling. [T/N: I couldn't use the CR quote for this because that's translated more in context, as just "someday".] 寶さんのエセ関西弁は、この弁護士さんに仕込まれた影響だったんですね。

Takara's fake Kansai accent is acquired from the lawyer's. そして現代に戻ったと思ったら、 飛んで火にいる子猫ちゅわん！

Also, when we think we've returned to the present, a kitten jumps into the flame! [T/N: This translation builds off the CR version of the line, "Like a kitten to the flame!"] 今回の依頼人、ティナさんの登場です！！

This time's client, Tina, appears!! 「ちょっと何言ってるかわからないんだけど！」

"Oh, please! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" 寶さんこの時のっけから飛ばしまくっていたので、堀はこの台詞がツボに入って笑いを堪えるのが大変でした。

Takara, at that time, couldn't help but send her flying from the beginning and it was difficult for me because I was trying not to laugh - there was "tsubo" in my lines. あいも変わらずスマートに名刺を渡すも、「世界で一番惚れてる男のところに連れてって！」とピシャリ。

Even after [Takara was] as smooth as ever and [handed] over the business card, she refused with "Take me to the man I love most!" [T/N: The word for "smooth" here is literally "smart", but "smart" doesn't seem to have the right connotations.] …どうやら今回の依頼人も、一筋縄ではいかないみたいです。

...apparently, this time's client seems very straightforward. 『快楽』ﾁﾘﾘﾘﾝ

"Hedonism" *ring ring ring* 寶さんはティナさんをお子さんのお迎えに連れて行き、そのまま2人を仕事場へと送り届けます。

Takara brought Tina to her child and, without a pause, brought those two to [Tina's] workplace. 仕事場ではみんなでティナさんのお子さんをあやしていたり、同僚の方のティナさんのダンスへの信頼に、思わずいい職場だなぁと感心する堀でしたが。。。

At the workplace, everyone comforted Tina's child and Tina's colleagues had confidence in her dance, so I admired, without thinking, how good of a workplace it was... そこに現れる父親、妻原さんですよ！！！！！（ﾌﾝﾇｰ‼︎）

Then the husband, Tsumahara, appeared!!!!! (Barbarian!!) [T/N: There is no confirmed reading of this name, so it might be "Tsumabara".] 前回のうるう回の久二さんも相当でしたが…勝るとも劣らない圧倒的なそれ…っ！！

He's equivalent to last time's (Uruu's episode's) Kyuji...but [Kyuji] overwhelmingly compares favourably to that guy...!! お子さんの顔も見ずにお金をせびるのみならず、ティナさんの一張羅のコートまで…！！

Not only does he demand money without seeing his child's face, but he also goes as far as taking Tina's one good coat...!! ちょっと申し訳なさそうにして受け取るのがまた、なんかもう…っ！！

The fact he looks a little apologetic as he receives it is just...!! だのにティナさんは、頑張って稼がなきゃって…″家族″のためにって(′つω；｀)

Despite this, Tina must try her hardest to make money...for her "family". (′つω；｀) その言葉は、お子さんに対してだけじゃなくて…うわぁああああ！！！

Those word aren't just for her family...uwaaaaa!!! 次のカットで妻原さんは貰ったそのお金をギャンブルに突っ込んでました（遠い目）

In the next cut, Tsumahara pushes the money he received into gambling. (distant eyes) この時の寶さんのモテポイント、 「姉さん、そろそろ出番でっせ」は何も見なかったように落ち着いて投げてあげて、 それでも見られたくない所を見られちゃった、というニュアンスが返ってきたら 「こういうことする俺、格好ええやろ？」と冗談まじりに茶化しながら優しさを渡す。

This is the time Takara is popular. He says, "Dearie? I think you're on." He calms down and gives up as if he never saw anything, but even still, after he returned [from seeing her exchange with Tsumahara] with a nuance of "he saw what he did not want to see", he would joke gently, "Aren't I cool for doing this sort of thing?" and poke fun at himself. この機微がモテる大人のテクニックなんですよ…！！

This subtlety is a technique popular with adults...!! 見てくださってる男性の皆さんにも是非取り入れていただきたい…なぁみんな！！？

Any men watching should certainly take in this [advice]...yeah, everyone?!! 堀は後十年は修行させてください(′・ω・｀)

Please train me [in the art of love] for another 10 years. (′・ω・｀) はい、一方BAR Fは今日もカレーです。

Yes, at the same time, there's curry at Bar F today too. 前回のラストが熱い…！展開だっただけに、皆さんあれからどうなったのか、眠れない夜を過ごされていたと思います。

The conclusion last time was intense...! I'm sure everyone had a sleepless night wondering what happened after that development. 何気なく水をうるうくんに渡す焔くん 、 何気なく焔くんを気遣ううるうくん、 照れながらも返事をする焔くん、 嬉しそうな蘭丸樹果バックン。

Homura, who's casually giving water to Uruu,

Uruu, who worries about Homura,

Homura, who blushes while responding,

Ranmaru, Juka and Bakkun, who seem happy. てぇてぇが過ぎてぇ堀は平身低頭（てぇとう）ですありがてぇ…ありがてぇてぇ！！！！

They're excessively precious and I was prostrating myself, thanking them...thanks, precious!!!! [T/N: Hori slurs several of his words in this sentence, typically てぇてぇ = toutoi (precious/noble), 平身低頭 = heishin teitou (prostrating oneself) and ありがてぇ = arigatou (thank you). He then combines てぇてぇ and ありがてぇ, hence "precious".] それから所変わってお出掛け中の寶さん、 いつも通りキスのおねだりを茶化しながら交わしていきます。

Then, in the meantime, Takara was out, as always, begging for kisses and teasing a woman. 聞こえないくらいの声で憂うように、「わいが欲しいのは、なんやろなぁ」とポツリ。

In a voice that can barely be heard, he mumbles, "I don't know what I want..." この台詞は後の展開にも効いてくる凄く大事な台詞���んですが…。

This line is very important in terms of later developments... コメントで「（カレーには）ナンやろなぁ…」って書いた人怒らないから正直に言いなさい（ﾋﾟｷﾋﾟｷ）

In the comments, there was a person who wrote, "I don't know what (curry) I want..." - please say who you are, I won't be mad *veins snap* Aパートおしまい！

That's the end of the A part! ブログでもCM入ります！情報いっぱいだよ！

This is a blog, but I'll still insert ads! There's a lot of info! ・山野ホールでライブします！（9/18だよ！）

- The live show at Noyama Hall! (On the 18th of September!) ・特典盛り沢山のBD、DVD発売します！（第1巻は６/16発売！）

- The BD/DVD is being sold, with lots of bonuses! (1st BD/DVD sold on the 16th of June!) ・キャラソンアルバムHEAVENS DOOR発売します！（同じく6/16、遂に艶歌が全部聞けるよ！）

- The character song album HEAVEN'S DOOR is being sold! (On the same day [as the BD/DVD], the 16th of June, so you can finally hear the whole enka!) てつえーさん「Nice Pole Dance…ﾀﾞﾝｽﾀﾞﾝｽ」（ええ声エコー）

Tetsuei [Sumiya]: "Nice pole dance...(dance dance)" (nice voice echo) Bパートいきます！！

To the B part!! 開幕ティナさんのキラキラポールダンスからスタート！！

The curtain opens on Tina, who starts with a sparkling pole dance!! お子さんを膝に乗せて馴染んでいる寶さん。

The child, who's on the lap of and [now] accustomed to Takara. お子さんのママ～！の声、可愛いですねぇ(´,,･Д･,,`)

The child's cry of "Mama~!" was cute, wasn't it? (´,,･Д･,,`) やはり彼のためにも、家族の為にも頑張るというティナさん。

Of course, Tina will try hard for his sake, for the family's sake. 自身の生い立ちから、家族という存在をいかに大事にしているかが伺えます。

From his own background, we can see how much he values the existence of his family. 5話の寶回の時の依頼人の恵夢さんもやはり家族のために身を粉にして働いていましたし、今回のティナさんも…。

From episode 5's Takara episode, the client, Emu, also worked assiduously for her family, so this time's Tina also... 寶さんにも金鋼族の復興のため、寶さんのため、痩せ細った体で自分の食べるものすら譲ってくれたお母さんという存在がいたからこそ、家族のために自分を犠牲にして頑張る方に複雑な思いを抱いてしまうのでは無いでしょうか。

In order for Takara to revive the Metallum Clan, for Takara's sake, Takara's mother even gave over her own food and it is precisely because of that that she became a victim of trying hard for the sake of her family and that's why Takara has such complicated emotions, is it not? しかも今回はその″家族″が不義を行っているなんて…。

Moreover, this time, this time's "family" is unjust... そしてそして！！！！！

Also, also!!!!! お待たせしました！銭湯ノルマ達成ですありがとうございます！！

Thanks for waiting! Thanks for fulfilling the bath quota!! この時流れてきた「みんなストローは持ったかァ！！」ってコメント、爆笑しました。

At this time, the comment that came about was "Everyone's holding straws!!" and so there was uproarious laughter. [T/N: It's not clear if there's just one person laughing or many, hence the intentional vagueness.] ですが今回の銭湯の中身はすっごくシリウス…じゃなかったシリアス。

However, this time's bath [scene] is amazingly serious...not (Sirius). [T/N: Hori inserts Sirius's name at the end of the sentence as a pun on "serious", so if it seemed like the translation said "serious, not serious", I did my job.] みんなの顔を眺めながら、豊穣さんと交わした特命の話を回想していきます。

After we gaze at everyone's faces, we go to a flashback scene where [Takara is] given his directive from Houjou. その中には女王に内密の話まで…そんな重たいものを背負いながら、寶さんはみんなに毎日カレーを作っていたんですね。

In that it's to the point it's kept a secret from the Queen...Takara makes curry for everyone everyday while burdened with those heavy things, huh? でも、これまで毎日みんなでカレーを食べて、銭湯に入って、愛著を集めて、日々を過ごして。

However, until now, every day everyone's eaten their curry, gone to the bath, gathered attachment and spent their days [together].

家族として一緒に過ごしてきたみんなの顔を見回した時の寶さんの顔は、優しさに満ち溢れた顔でした。

As family, when spending time together and looking around at everyone's faces, Takara's face is full of affection. この時の「楽しい時間は長く続きまへんな」という台詞。

At this time, there is the line: "The fun times never last, do they?" 寶さんのみならず、堀自身もF蘭の最終回の近さを意識しておりましたので、言葉にした時に込み上げるものがありました。

Not only Takara, but I personally realised F-Ran's final episode is near and so, while I'm bad at putting this into words, [emotions] welled up inside me. そして明らかになる妻原さんの別の家族の存在。

Then, it becomes clear Tsumahara has a different family. ティナさんと妻原さんの会話が始まります。

Tina starts a conversation with Tsumahara. もうここの妻原さんのクズっぷりが真骨頂！！！

Already, the Tsumahara from this [point in] time's true worth is basically scum!!! ティナさんがあまりにもあまりにも可哀想で…

Tina is really, really unfortunate... 「お前も俺を見捨てるんだな！！」

"So, you're abandoning me too!!" あんた、別のところでも同じようなことしとったんか…？

Aren't you the same, even though it's from a different perspective...? 絶望のあまり、倒されたゴミ袋の上で笑うしかなくなってしまうティナさん。

Without much remorse, Tina has no choice as she's left collapsed on the rubbish bags and Tsumahara laughs. そこに夭聖は現れるんです…！！

Then, the fairies appear...!! 「美人さん、お持ち帰りしてええか？」

"Lovely lady, might I walk you home?" ほんと、全人類言ってみたい台詞トップ5にランクインする台詞です…！！

Really, that's going to rank in the top 5 lines that all of humanity wants to be said to them...!! チャイルドシートを携えたいつもの車でティナさんの話を聞く寶さん。

Takara listens to the story of Tina, who's always carrying a child seat around with her. 「わかってた、利用されてるだけって」

"I knew...some part of me knew he was just using me." 「なのに、あいつがポケットに手を入れた時にさ、指輪かなって思ったんだよね」

"But when he reached into his pocket, I honestly thought it might be a ring." 「笑顔で溢れるあったかい家庭、作りたかったの」

"I wanted to create a happy family, full of smiles..." この台詞が悲痛過ぎて…。

These lines are too sorrowful... 堀は最初、思わず拳を握りしめて返す台詞をかけてしまいました。

I, at first, clenched my fists without thinking at these lines. ですがこの時、製作陣から、何より真摯に優しさを向けてあげて。

However, this time, I felt sincerely affectionate for this cobbled-together group. 頑張っている人は報われるんだよ。ってティナに伝えて欲しい、というディレクションを頂いて。

I received the direction that I should convey to Tina, "Hard work will be rewarded!" このシーンの台詞は寶さん自身の言葉で、その思いが乗らなきゃダメなんだと何度もトライさせていただきました。

This scene's dialogue is in Takara's own words and I had to try repeatedly to convey his thoughts on it. 「あなたの心、頂けますか？」 から大自然の流れでジャ…変身の時間だぁーーー！！！！！

After "Could I take your heart?", the scene changes and...it's transformation time---!!!!! 思わずナイスバルク！と声をかけたくなる惚れ惚れする筋肉。

Without thinking, I was charmed by [Takara's] muscles and wanted to call out, "Nice bulk!" 画面いっぱいに広がる肉体美と拳、地面をぶっ壊しながらあげる名乗り。

The physical beauty of his body and fists filled the screen, he broke the ground and called out his name. 格好よさが臨界点突破して美しいに昇華しとるんですよ！！！！！！！

His coolness has broken through the critical point and sublimated itself into beauty!!!!!!! 妻原さんはティナさんとあんな会話をした後だというのに、 魂が昂りながら「夢も愛もどうでもいい」なんて曰いながらギャンブルに興じていらっしゃいますねぇ…。

Tsumahara, even after he had that conversation with Tina, happily spends his days gambling, arousing his spirit as he says, "What do dreams and love matter?" バレさん、技を借りるぜ…！！

Balle-san, I'll borrow a technique of yours...!! ふざけんにょ！！！！！

Stop screwing around!!!!! [T/N: reference to Balle-san's ep. 9 post] そして始まる艶歌、五話もそうでしたが、歌詞が今回の話とのリンクして、絵の美しさも合間って没入してしまいます。

Then the enka begins - it was in ep. 5 as well but the lyrics are linked to this episode and I was immersed in the beauty of the visuals for a moment. 早くフルで聴いてほしい！！！皆様、是非HEAVENS DOORを！「愛の勘定」も勿論ですが、みんなの艶歌をフルで聴けばストーリーとのリンクが増して、よりグッと来るはずです！！！

I want you to hurry and listen to the full version!!!! Everyone, please listen to HEAVEN'S DOOR! There's "Payment of Love" of course, but if you listen to everyone's full enka, you'll [be able to make] links with the story and it will hit you in the feels!!! 艶歌が終わり、ドアが開けば今回のヘブンズ空間はまるで屏風の中に入ったかのような和風の世界。

After the enka ends, the door opens to this time's Heaven's Room, which is a Japanese-style world quite like that on a folding screen. そこに雷神と雷神を模したかのような敵が現れます。

Then, enemies that look like the well-known thunder god and a thunder god's imitation appear. [T/N: referring to Raijin] 毎回のことですが、ヘブンズ空間も本当に趣向を凝らしてあって…ど緊張のバトルシーンのはずなのに、思わず堀の魂も昂ってしまいます…！！！

It happens every time, but these Heaven's Rooms are really ingenious...there should've been a hugely nerve-wracking battle scene, but without thinking, my spirit was unintentionally aroused...!!! なんと今回の鍵穴にはティナさんとお子さんの2人が！

What? This time Tina and her child are both behind the keyhole! なぜわかったノルマに愛らしい声が混ざる日が来るとは。

I never thought I'd see the day where a charming voice would be mixed in with the "What? I got it!" quota. そしてもう一方の鍵穴からは妻原さんの極悪な声が…

Also, in the other keyhole is Tsumahara's heinous voice... 「人はなあ！快楽には勝てねぇんだよ！」 「酒！タバコ！セッッッ！！薬物！！特にギャンブルはなぁ！！」

"A person can't conquer their hedonistic tendencies! The pleasures of drinking! Smoking! Sex! Drugs! And gambling especially!!" [T/N: Hori censors the word "sex" by "stuttering" over the final syllable but CR doesn't, so I've sided with the latter.] 座長が現場で ハッキリ言ったぁーーー！！！ってツッコんでたのを覚えていますw

"The leader put it clearly at the time--!!!" I remember joking. ですが、言葉のパワーはもうネタの領域を超えた、狂気の世界のそれです。

However, that is a mad world where the power of words is beyond the realm of stories. その言葉に促されるように敵から酒の玉攻撃が、 そしてもう一方の敵からはヤニの煙の攻撃が。

With those urging words, the enemies send bubbles of alcohol and then from the other side comes a tobacco smoke attack. この時のうめき声のディレクションは、堀くん今○○kgの重りが乗ってるよ！！ と言われながら、���にそれに合わせた負荷をかけるように声を出していました。次の日筋肉痛になりました。

At this time, when the direction, "Groan and pretend you have a __ kg weight on you!!" was given, as I shouted, it was like a corresponding load was being added. The next day my muscles hurt. なんとか持ち堪えた寶さんですが、 「なら、これならどうかしら…」 その言葉と共に現れる寶さんのお母さんの幻想。

Takara's able to hold out somehow, but then an illusion of Takara's mother appears with the words, "Well, what will you do?" 前回もうるうくんのお母さんと焔くんのお父さんが現れましたが、まさか今回は寶さんのお母さんが…。

Last time, Uruu's mother and Homura's father appeared, so surely this time Takara's mother... しかもこんな形で痩せ細っていないお母さんの姿を見ることになるなんて…！

Furthermore, to see his not-so-skinny mother in this form...! あの優しかった声で、こちらに攻撃をかけてきます。

This is the attack that's given with that gentle voice. 押し倒されて首をしめられる寶さん。

Takara is being held down and strangled [by his mother's illusion]. この時の台詞の色気も相まって、まるで2人が繋がっているような…

Coupled with the sexiness of the dialogue at this point, it's as if the two are connected... 更に畳み掛けるようにチェリーの入ったグラスから液体を口に含み、そのマッマ寶さんの口に流し込みます。

Furthermore, as if pressing for answers, Takara's mother uses her mouth to pour liquid into Takara's mouth, from a glass with a cherry in it. 苦しさのあまり悶絶絶叫する寶さん、これは先の妻原さんの「酒、タバコ、セッッッッ、そして薬物」それらの快楽を暗喩しているのでしょうか。

Is Takara, who's about to scream and faint in agony, [being subjected to] metaphors for hedonism Tsumahara was mentioning earlier? そしてシリウスの登場です。

Also, Sirius appears. す○ざんまいのポーズって言うのやめーや！！！

Stop doing the Su___zanmai pose!!! [T/N: referring to the dude who stands with his hands outstretched from Sushizanmai] しかし今回の句には堀は思わず確かに…と頷いてしまいました。

However, this time I couldn't help but nod and say, "Indeed..." 人は何故ほんの刹那の快楽のために沢山のものを犠牲にしてしまうのか…

Why do we sacrifice so much for a fleeting moment of pleasure? むしろ刹那だからこそ、それを追い求めてしまうのかもしれませんね（哲学）

Rather, it's because it's momentary that we chase it and seek it out? (philosophising) 苦しみながらも、「俺が欲しいものはこんなんじゃない」と懸命に耐える寶。

Even in agony, Takara eagerly bears it [and says], "This isn't what I want." しかしそれも、「あなたが欲しいのは、母親からの豊満な愛情でしょう？」と、肥大化した幻想に押しつぶされる寶さん。

However, in addition to that, the illusion becomes fat [with the words], "What you want is the full-bodied love of your mother!" ニコニコのタグにもありましたが、確かに快楽要素全部乗せプレスは重い、重すぎます。

As the tag on Nico Nico said, it is true that all the hedonistic elements being pressed are heavy, far too heavy, イきかける寶さんですがなんとか力を振り絞り、幻想を押しのけます。

Takara is about to have the life choked out of him, but he comes to his senses and pushes the illusion away. しかしそれが最後の力だったのか、体が動かず追撃をかわせそうにありません…！

However, that was the last of his strength and so he's not able to move...! これで終わりか…と思ったその瞬間ですよ！！！！！

This was the moment...I thought it was the end!!!!! 最高に勇ましい掛け声と共に焔が敵の攻撃から寶を守ります！！

With a shout, Homura, who's the best and heroic, comes and protects Takara from attack!! そのまま蘭丸とうるうが雷神と風神を倒し、樹果が 「オン・アユス・ヴァルタ！」の掛け声とともにペロキャンを振って寶さんを回復してくれます。

Similarly, Ranmaru and Uruu bring down the thunder gods and, with his tongue stuck out and his lollipop, Juka yells, "On ayus valta!" to heal Takara. ここ、さいっっっっっこうに熱かったです！！！！！

This was the most intensssssssssssssse [moment]!!!!! 寶のピンチに駆けつけるファミリー達、初めての全員集合、初めての共闘！！！

This is the first time they've [run to Takara's aid and] fought as a family when Takara was in a pinch!!! 台本を読ませてもらった時は、遂にきたか…！くらいの興奮だったんですが、 現場でこのシーンを録った時、こーすけの「はぁあああああ！！」って勇ましい声が聞こえてきた瞬間、鳥肌がブワァーって！体がカァーッて！熱くなったことを強く覚えています。

When reading the script, I was exhilarated to the point of going, "Finally, they came!" and now that this scene is recorded, I strongly remember the moment Kohsuke [Tanabe] valiantly can be heard going, "Haaaaaaaaaaa!!" I got goosebumps from the passion. 蘭丸とうるうの声も頼もしくて、樹果のたからぁ～！って呼び声に癒されて。

Trustworthy Ranmaru and Uruu, and Juka healing Takara by calling out his name. こんなに頼もしい仲間達が揃って、負けるわけがないですよ！！！！

With trustworthy friends like these, you won't lose!!!! この後の飛び上がるシーンも、月を殴りつけるシーンも、高まったボルテージを思いっきりぶつけさせて頂きました！

After this is the flying scene, the moon-breaking scene and I was able to use my heightened [emotions] to the fullest! [T/N: Hori calls his heightened emotions "voltage".] そしてGO TO HEAVEN!!!!!

Then, GO TO HEAVEN!!!!! 「またすっからかんかよぉ～！」なんて言いながら、トドメを刺された時の勢いで手持ちをオールインしてしまう妻原さん。

Tsumahara, for some reason, said, "I'm broke again?!" as he's finished off while playing everything he has with an all-in due to his leftover momentum. [T/N: the all-in in poker] ティナさんの「寶さん、あなたと結ばれたかった…」

Tina: "Takara...I wish we could've been together." 依頼人からこんなに純粋に好意を向けられるなんて…寶さんも罪な人ね。

The client has this kind of pure affection [for him]...Takara's also a wrongdoer, isn't he? ですがそれは叶わない、ティナさんもわかっているからこその過去形なのでしょうか…。

However, that can't be granted, since Tina understanding him is now past tense, isn't it...? こんなにも切ないワンシーンなのに、もう1人の堀が「あなたと結バレッタ裕…」って囁いてきてもうダメです（現在朝4時）

In this one heartrending scene, too, another Hori whispers to me, "You and Yutaka Balletta ..." but it's already no good (currently 4 in the morning)

全てが片付き、夭聖体のみんなが寶さんに声をかけてきます。

Everything's wrapped up so everyone calls out to Takara. なんだよお前ら、ちくしょー、まじで、お前ら…(′つω；｀)

What the hell, everyone, damn, really, you guys... (′つω；｀) しかもうるうくん、「僕たちは、ファミリーなのだから」それってさ、焔くんのことも、みんなのことも引っくるめて″ファミリー″なんだよね…？

Yet, Uruu goes, "We're family, in case you've forgotten." That means Homura and everyone are 'family', huh...? 万感の思いを込めて「サンキュ」と一言だけ返す寶さん。

Takara returns that with a single word full of emotions: "Thank you." 寶さん、あなたの欲しかったものって、きっと…

Takara, what you really want is certainly... そして後方家族面の蘭丸、その視線の先には様子を見ていたチルカが…。

Then, from behind Ranmaru, Chilka, who was watching him out of the corner of his eye... かつて愛していると言っていた蘭丸に対して、「Go to Hell!!地��に落としてやる！」と言い残してその場を去ります。

As opposed to [when] he said he loved Ranmaru in the past, he leaves as he [yells], "Go to hell!!" …何故和訳してくれたんだ…。そこに不穏な空気が残ります。

Why did this Japanese translation come up? This left a disquieting atmosphere. [T/N: Hori translates "Go to hell!" (ENG) as "Fall into hell!" (JPN).] 豊穣さんの「いいファミリーになりましたな」

Houjou: "They've become a fine family indeed." この一言、嬉しかったなぁ。

I was happy with this one brief comment.

第一話の時、「君たちは今からファミリーだ」 なんて言われて戸惑っていた5人ですが、今では声を大にしてファミリー蘭丸って叫べます。

In episode 1, he says, "From now on, you are family," leaving the 5 of them bewildered, but now they can yell about how they're "family Ranmaru". いや、ファミリー蘭丸ではないけどね！？山本さんのプリティミス（伏線）だけどね！？笑

No, not "family Ranmaru"?! Is this a pretty mistake from Yamamoto (foreshadowing)?! (LOL) [T/N: This is referring to Bakkun's VA Kazutomi Yamamoto. Also, yes, it does say "pretty mistake", but it's likely to be "printing mistake".] そんな中改めて十訓を厳守させよと戒める女王。

In that [part], the Queen once again demands rigid adherence of the 10 Laws. あのような過ちとは…過去の因縁はまだ根が深そうです。

A mistake like that... it seems that past fates are still deep-rooted. そしてここからが怒涛の展開ですよ皆さん。

Then, everyone, the surge in developments [happens] from here. なんとあのシルク・ドゥ・マーズから合格通知が届いたティナさん！

Tina's somehow received a notification of acceptance into Cirque de Mars! 相当頑張ってきた努力が遂に実って、ニューヨークから熱いラブコールをかけられています。

The hard work she put in has finally pulled off and she's receiving passionate calls from New York. 喜んでいたのも束の間、そこに現れたのはなんと妻原さん！！？

It was a short moment that she could be happy, and then, who would arrive but Tsumahara?!! あんたって人は、懲りずにまだティナさんに…と持ったらなんと勝ちすぎちまったから命を狙われている！？

He's still trying to teach Tina a lesson, but...he won too much and they're gonna kill him?!

それもしかして、GO TO HEAVENされた時のオールインで…！？

On top of that, what about the all-in from the GO TO HEAVEN...?! すっからかんかよォー！！じゃなかったのかよォー！！

He's not broke anymore?!! 費用も全て持つから連れて行ってくれ、なんて、うーん、ティナさんとしては助かるけど…。

He'll come along, pay for everything and, yeah, sorta help Tina out...? まぁ、イケメン���からいっか……よくないわい！！！！

Well, he's handsome...but no!!!! [T/N: reference to ep. 5] 改心して今度こそ家族になるのか、それともニューヨークでまた悶着を起こすのかはわかりませんが、なんにせよティナさんとお子さんの先行きが明るくて良かったです。

I don't know if the family has reformed properly or if they're going to New York to quarrel again, but Tina and her child's future is bright. その様子を微笑ましく見ていた寶さんの元に、一本の電話が。

After seeing the smiling child's face, he receives a call. シリウスの事を伝えていた弁護士さんから、大変なことがわかったぞ、と。

The lawyer uncovered some [information] about Sirius and it's something unbelievable. 女王の過去や！と言いながら見せた一枚の写真には…、 あ、あ、あ、あ、あアイドルユニットぉ！！？

"...the Queen's past!" he says as we're shown a photo of an...i-i-i-i-i-idol unit?!! かつて一大ブームを巻き起こした、ウィンタートライアングル。

Winter Tri-angels, who created a sensational big boom in the past. シリウス！？ベテルギウス！！？プロキオン…？

Sirius?! Betelgeuse?!! Procyon...? シリウスとベテルギウスは恐らく…でも姿が…！？

Sirius and Betelgeuse are probably...but that form is...?! そして女王の過去というのは、この写真とどう関係してくるのでしょうか…。

Also, what does the Queen's past have to do with this picture...? 女王の過去や、チルカと蘭丸の確執、夭聖界のことや、寶さんの言っていたもう一山、更にここに来てまた新しい謎が…！！！

The Queen's past, Chilka and Ranmaru's antagonism, the fairy world, all the stuff Takara said - on top of that, another mystery...!!! 本編もいよいよクライマックスに向けて、盛り上がりが止まるところを知りません。

At last, we're approaching the climax of the main story and I don't know if [the tension] will stop rising.

いよいよあと二話ですが、最後までみんなで大騒ぎしていきましょう！

Finally, there's two episodes to go, so let's get really excited until the end! Fairy蘭丸～あなたの心お助けします～ 次回『憎悪』もお見逃しなく！！というわけで、禁忌其の拾『快楽』堀の感想ここまでとなります。

Don't miss the next episode of Fairy Ranmaru ~We Will Help Your Heart~, "Hatred"!! That's it for my impressions on Taboo No. 10, "Hedonism". ここまで長い文章に付き合って頂き、ありがとうございました！！

Thanks for keeping me company [as I write] these long sentences!! 余談なんですが、大体メインキャストは一緒に録るんですが、この回の収録は実は堀が1人ブースに籠って先に録られた皆様の声を聴きながら台詞を当てておりました。

As a side note, usually the main cast would record together, but this time, I was alone in the booth, listening to the voices of those who recorded before as I added my lines. 収録が終わってからブースのドア���開けて、 誰もいないだろうなぁ、と思ってフッと休憩スペースを見たら、 なんと5 to HEAVENのみんなが残ってくれてて、映像が流れるディスプレイをずっと見守ってくれてて、 こっちを向いて堀さんお疲れ！とか、メッチャ汗だくじゃん！とか笑いながら言ってくれて。

When I finished recording and opened the booth, I looked at the rest area, thinking no one was there. Surprisingly, everyone from 5 to HEAVEN was there, watching over a video display. They turned to me and said things like, "Good work, Hori-san!" and "You're so sweaty!" so I laughed while I talked. その瞬間、堀の頭の中に寶さんのサンキュ。のシーンがリフレインして、 なんかしどろもどろになるくらい嬉しかったです。きっとあの瞬間は忘れられないです。

In that moment, the scene where Takara says, "Thank you," played again in my head and although I was [in a state of] confusion, I was happy. I will surely not forget that moment. はい、余談終わり！笑

Yes, I'm done with my side note! (LOL) 話が進むにつれて、SNSで#F蘭丸であげてくださってる実況や感想、ファンアートや、写真など、盛り上がっているのを実感しております。

To continue the conversation, use #F蘭丸 on your real-time impressions, fanart, photos etc., which will give a real feeling to your excitement. そしてそれを見ている時、堀はスマホを握りしめるくらい嬉しくなります。

Also, when I see those, I become so happy, I grasp my phone tightly. いつもF蘭を応援して下さり本当にありがとうございます。皆さんの声が僕らの力になります！

As always, really, thank you for supporting F-Ran. Everyone's voices will be my strength! 引き続きFairy蘭丸を応援の程、何卒よろしくお願いいたします！！！

Please kindly take care of me as you continue to support Fairy Ranmaru!!! このブログ書くの頑張ったからな！

I tried my best with this blog [post]! 読んでくれてメチャクチャ嬉しかったからな！

Thanks a lot for reading! 雅楽代 た～から！役の堀曜宏でした！

This has been Akihiro Hori! who plays the role of Ta~kara Utashiro! スネークバァーイ！🐍

Snake-bye!🐍 [T/N: "Snakebite Hori" joke.] ワイの魅力、皆にも伝わったかな～？

Takara: Did I convey my appeal to everyone~?

Update: Fixed the note regarding "Yamamoto". Thanks, @blankie-greenie-anon.

Update 2: Missed a sentence, improved a sentence and fixed some pronouns and other minor things.

Update 3: Improved a sentence.

[jackrrabbit]

ask answering/updates

first of all, thank you 💘 second of all...

ok ok ok don’t get too excited, but I finally got the juice to start working on the next part of Fanatic 🖤 most of you guys will be like ‘who cares’ but i know some of you have been waiting for this for a while! it’s been what, 2 months?? hope I’m not jinxing myself by saying this *knocks on wood* also not to hype myself too much but it’s kinda bomb 😳 maybe this is just my sick bias but I’ve really been wanting to write about...aftermath iykwim haha. reader all scared & shy & trying to avoid him but yk he’s not going to leave her alone :P

I also figured out the ending to it will come back!! it wouldn’t be shiggy if it didn’t get dangerous 😈 also gonna be nice to write some eyes-rolling-back-in-the-head fuckery so our favorite handsy creep can finally get his dick wet with his beloved little nursey <3

here are some other vague ideas, some based on requests, some not. as always no promises!!

BNHA—pillage & plunder with fantasy AU warlord Bakugo (and his gang of ruffians?? hmm...)

BNHA—Overhaul makes you work off your daddy’s gambling debts the extra hard way uwu...also I have SO many ideas for Overhaul 😷 after I finish iwcb my next multi-part fic will probably be with him

BNHA—various things with reader as an aspiring villain set in the same universe as Caught in the Act: reader getting quarantined with shiggy & dabi...dabi getting mad at you after you keep fucking up...incel shiggy jacking it to his adorable protégée without her knowledge (a galaxy brain request from a very good buddy!!!!)

BNHA—ABO with alpha Hawks and omega reader in an elevator...and uh-oh, it’s stuck! and you’re going into heat! oh no, whatever will you do??

Haikyuu—you get stuck in a hole in a wall, good thing your dutiful boyfriend Kuroo is there to help you out ;)

Haikyuu—gangbang with Tsukki, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo...a challenge bc I’ve never written a gangbang before!! will have to do some research 🧐

Haikyuu—your bf Atsumu does mean things when he’s jealous, like putting his hands up your skirt in public

KNY—Kokushibou decides to keep a shrine maiden as his cute little human pet 💜 actually already wrote pt. 1 but I’ll wait to post til I’m done with Fanatic

AxK—just some no good very bad yandere content with Dr. Midori...neglect play stuff...sensory deprivation stuff...icky icky

Gintama—something with Kamui. does this count as monsterfucking? very very rough...idk what exactly? some form of dastardly acts

thanks for the concern friends 💕💕 I’ve been preoccupied by things happening irl for the past few weeks, trying to educate myself, going to protests, etc.

also in case anyone else is confused, my stance is and always has been that Black lives matter and all cops are bastards. I’m not sure my porn blog is the right place to talk about this at length but if you’re a bootlicker, please smash that unfollow button and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. if you don’t already have a decently functioning moral compass you should not get anywhere near my writing...fr

learn more and get involved

omg thank you & yes yes a million times yes!!! hope you don’t mind commitment issues and student loan debt 💝👯‍♀️

the line between not hawksfucker and hawksfucker is very thin and very blurry, beware.....lol and thank you!!

the video you recommended...like damn!!! that’s exactly the vibe I feel like fratty Hawks x reader from be a little bad would be like if they had a happy ending eventually (start at 1:39)!!!!! “I didn’t make you do this” “I’m not accusing you of anything” it’s that exact dynamic. imo Hawks might be a little less willing to make things official and reader would prob have a hard time being straightforward enough to ask tho...hmmm

I did get several requests for a part 2! I’m thinking it over atm. I will say tho that most of my reqs have very slow turnaround so if I write it, it might be a while

ooh I love getting recommendations! here’s what I like:

fanfic: I read stuff like what I write (smut, kink, yandere, villains). at some point I’m going to make a long post of fic recs of my own! I also read fluff and character x character ship fic so interests are pretty broad

TV: humor, crime shows like Bones, Criminal Minds, Psych, that kind of thing. nothing too dark or complicated, nothing that requires too much investment. same goes for anime

movies: pretty much everything! lately I’m really into Howl’s Moving Castle and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

books: literary fiction. can I say I’m into dark academia if the only dark academia I’ve read is The Secret History? favorite books I’ve read semi-recently are TSH, All the Light We Cannot See, The Poisonwood Bible, and Discipline & Punish. currently reading Foucault’s History of Sexuality

music: idk man...all kinds of stuff. I listen based on vibe more than genre. all my spotify playlists are named things like “sunday” and “the power” and “[sparkle emoji]”. my artists on repeat are Hozier, The Weeknd, Kendrick, M.I.A., The Neighborhood (F I’m a basic bitch) but I’ll try anything once

jfc these two asks have given me so much hope 🥰😭💗 you know what? sooner or later I’m going to post Kamui x reader smut and it’s going to get 3 notes from the three of us liking it and that’s okay because I’ve thirsted over this man too long and too hard to go my entire life without reading over-indulgent reader-insert porn of him. yes the villain kink jumped out but DAMN!!! the man has ‘h*rny scumbag who lets his instincts rule him’ baked into both his DNA and his psyche, and I’m so here for it 😌

if you don’t know who Kamui is, do me a favor and watch gintama. yes there are like 400 episodes but it’s worth it. I will convert more bitches to the gintama thirst train if it costs me my life. Kamui was made to star in disrespectful breeding kink smut and this is a hill I will die on.

??? sure, if you can point me toward part 2 ????? lmao

I’m guessing you meant to ask for a pt 2 instead of pt 3? in which case, thanks for asking!! but tbh...for some reason I have a really hard time imagining what a pt 2 would look like, maybe because I wrote it 100% from Overhaul’s POV so it’s hard for me to define the reader’s feelings. I’m not saying it’ll never happen but 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER if it’s Overhaul content in general you’re craving, you’re in luck!!! he’s a favorite of mine. legit he ticks so many of my boxes—villain kink? check. medical/scientist kink? check. yakuza kink? honey I’m weak. I’ll definitely be writing more for him in the future!

oh no! I checked it on my computer & on mobile and all of the links are working for me? are the links still broken for you guys?

anyway, here are the rules, here’s the short version of the request rules, and here is part 1 and part 2 of it will come back.

thank you to everyone who has sent kind words, everyone who replies to my writing, and everyone who posts thirst in the tags!!! I read that shit!!!! and it makes me fucking cry, I love you all

one more thing: several people have requested continuations to Sleepless, Sidekick, and Fanatic. on one hand, I’m so flattered that you guys want more!!! on the other hand, I actually already answered asks about pt. 2′s for those particular fics. before you request a continuation of anything, it’s probably a good idea to look up the name of the fic as a tag on my blog so you can check and see if anyone else had the same question 💖💖💖

[yes-kassiopeia]

CALM lashton lyrics analysis

Here we go form C A L M lyrics analysis from a lashton point of view. Aka  another long as fuck post.

Few consideration first. I am really happy that all of the song are not love songs! That was a bit of a down point for me about YB and I’m really happy to see other theme in this album! Also, I think we can all agree that it’s an happier album than YB, and that’s good! I’m happy the boys feel in better place. 

Songs I won’t talk about too much about

There are very good songs that I don’t have much say about from a lashton perspective so I’ll just quickly pass them. 

Red desert. Great song, I love it, but not lashton song. It’s about going back to your roots, dive inside of yourself to find the core, the passion, and light it up. Like a phoenix rising from ashes. Let it rise in you and guide you further. Great message.

No shame. This one is a social and self critique of the way we seek for attention and fame. Very nice, but not a lashton song neither. 

Old me. A reflection on your past, owning your mistake and you strength as well. Learning lessons from the pass and find pride in your achievements. It is technically a lashton song. And I think it’s very cute that they wrote it together, but it doesn’t say much about their relationship. 

Wildflower. Such a bop! It’s the “valentine” of CALM, even surpasses it in my opinion. Feelgood, sexy, groovy, and all, but definitely not a lashton song. 

These were the happy song. All of the other song include darker, sadder feelings. And there are several ways to read them and I don’t predent to have the right way by any mean. But if you believe that Lierra is the perfect happy couple (”my parents” “goals” etc.) ... You’re probably closing your eyes on one or two things... 

Easier

As much as I looks like lyrics 5sos could have written, none of them are credited... And I had to double check that, because I though Luke has said multiple time that they, or at least, himself was involve in the writing of Easier. And I could definitely see that. But apparently not?  

This is the first song on the album which talks about dysfunctional / toxic relationship. It describes a position where you’re stuck: you’re not gonna change, they’re not gonna change, and it's not working out. You're hurting each other although it seem you want the same thing. You still love them, but is still worth staying. (And according to me the implied answer on the lyrics is yes)

Teeth

Teeth is Another song about dysfunctional toxic relationship! (insert party emoji). And this time it is written by lashton too. So what does it says. Push and pull, mood swings, lies, fake apologies. Loving someone who's always changing their face or their personality, don't know what they want from you, but they're not letting you go. But you love them, and you let them, still find their good side sweet and pretty. Small part of you still hoping you can built something, have future.

Alright... Let’s keep that in mind and adding to more songs

Not in the Same Way + Thin White Lies

Those two are very similar to me in their lyrical content.

About Not in the same way, I’m gonna take a wild guess and you don’t have to agree. But I feel like the verses, which are very short, were written separately from the rest. (the bridge is longer than the two verses together). The verses begin with the same line “Not today” meaning, “I don't want to fight with you again”. You point out my mistake, you cry, you scream at me. You're always anxious and I'm already sad, I don’t need this. (I want to escape)

Otherwise, the rest of the song is very repetitive and have this spinning sensation (I’m not sure, cause i’m a noob in music but I think it is 3/4? like lie to me, the bass rhythm all along as this three time valse-like ‘ta-da-da’ going on). To me this translate the lost balance, lost of reality. Making the same mistake again and again, even if you know it, even if it hurts you.

Thin White Lies goes along the same veins: I'm sad, I don't know how to handle the questions or my own reflection. The night comes and I make the same mistake, endlessly. In the morning  words break my heart, and I leave. But I'll always come back for one more taste of you. And hate myself for that.

BUT! In Thin Whites Lies there's the only time in the whole album where there’s a ‘she’ pronoun. A she that is different from the you everywhere else in the song. So that mean there are three people involved. There's someone else. “She said she loves me, doesn't show it.” I don’t feel you love, she doesn’t show her love neither. I’m in the middle, loosing my mind, don't know I am anymore. I am holding on thin white lies.

Okay so my conclusion, my interpretation, is that it’s Luke describing how he’ll always come back to Ashton, even if he breaks his heart, even if their both in relationship, even if he know it’s not gonna do any good. But he just can’t resist. And on the other hand it is screwing up majorly his relationship with Sierra (NITSM verses + “She”) whatever you think that might be (Friends, PR, couple, mixed, etc.) 

Best Years + Lover of mine

Before any Lierra stan starts to gushing over Best Years, let me remind you the first verse. “I wasted so much time on people that reminded me of you”. This means 1) being together 2) break up or cheat 3) trying to get redemption. So that’s not the ideal relationship they sell. AND, this proves this is about long relationship. Like very long, years obviously. And I personally don’t think Lierra has this kind of story... Lashton does tho. But you’re entirely free to disagree of course. 

Here’s my interpretation "We had a burning passion, that burnt us. I made mistakes. I have been with other people but I still about think you. Now that we're older and wiser, we can build something out of the mess and broken piece, a future together, the best years of our lives."

Luke said about it : “The song is a beautiful love note, something I felt I needed to get off my chest.” And yes it is a promise, but I am the only one who feels like it’s also a request ? like : “don’t you see what we could be? Don’t you want us to grow together?” and that’s it’s not directed at Sierra. But hey, what do I know?

Lover of mine. Completely unproved, but I feel like the verses and pre-chorus where is written by Lierra. And it’s about accepting your partner mistakes, past and flows, and embarrassing all of them. And the chorus is Ashton's addition and response to best years. It has the same theme of redemption and promises.

“I'll never give you away 'Cause I already made that mistake. If my name never fell off your lips again I know it'd be such a shame. When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes you're the only thing that I think I got right.” and this last sentence especially sounds a lot like Ashton to me. But that’s subjective I guess.

Also I feel like Ashton would the sassy guy to place his love confession in the couple song, just to screw it up x)”

Lonely heart

Lonely heart has an interesting point of view, as I feel like it is place on the side who’s holding back someone, while the other song are viewed from the one feeling held back. “We've been together, I know I hurt you. But if you go, I'll be lonely, you'll be lonely. So please can we have a second chance?” So I’d say it’d be Ashton answer to the other song (also I feel like he wrote some stuff from his heart in not in the same way too)

There a lot of theme that have already been exploited in the previous song so i’m not gonna go over them again. It doesn’t really bring much new content. Correct me if I am wrong. 

High

High is about being selfsish... in a good way? Trying to put yourself first when you still think so much of the one who hurt you. There this implied thing with the line “ my heart is built to last more than a night” that really ties with all the love in dark/ love at night / same mistake every time, we fuck/we fight, etc. that goes on from the all album. There’s another line that I want to point out: “I know I'll never meet your expectations.” which very sadly sound to me like: I’ll never the girls you can hold hand with publicly. And I might be reading way to much, but that just imposed itself to me. And it’s followed by “the picture that you paint of me looks better in your mind” which, once again, sound very much like something Luke could say about Ashton. 

I know this song my seem like their relationship is dead, and Luke’s trying to move on, but it’s not because it’s the last on the album that it’s the last in the chronological order of the real life even. I would personally place this as an really 2018 song. 

So yeah Lashton fucks! But they still don’t know how to handle it... And Sierra in the picture frame now. Woohoo. 

Leave you own comments and thoughts. I’d love to hear that :) 

And If you read till there, congrats, you’re a real one. 

Lots of love <3

[sofiessketches]

NASASocial experience at JPL

This is a LONG one, so I’m gonna put it under a readmore! 

This was my first ever NASA Social, so I didn’t really know what to expect when I applied, what the chances were or what other sorts of people would be there. I was surprised I even got in, because compared to some of the other people I have very few followers, but I think there’s more to it than that! As Stephanie, the head of social media at JPL, said, “You were chosen for your insatiable curiosity, and for the stories you tell”. I really appreciate that the selection process was more about being a creator of SOMETHING that you truly care about.

I’ve been to JPL several times for tours and lectures, but it’s always exciting to come up to the front..there was a really long line, I’m assuming because of the event and also traditional media that was there to interview people.

Got my badge and headed in, and said good morning to the Curiosity model! (which I wish was as detailed as the real thing..I still love her tho. I’ve just been spoiled having gone on tours and doing a lot of research on Curiosity that I was able to spot what’s missing..)

Admiring how the light hits her..er..Chemcam

I never get tired of looking at this piece, but this was the first time I actually checked out the plaque next to it, which had a helpful diagram!

An installation displaying the information from the GRACE (Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment) and GRACE Follow-on missions, which in the words of my friend Sirina, shows us how screwed we are, in a beautiful way! I also realized the reason the screens are this shape is because the spacecraft are shaped like that...!

JPL’s inspiring slogan in a beautiful geometric typeface B)

We got to the meeting/conference room, with portraits of all JPL’s past and present directors around. The last seat at the front table appeared to be taken by the Mars 2020 wheel, so I asked if I could sit there with the wheel, and my day was made! I have to admit this may have been the highlight of my day. One of the first JPL-specific drawings I did was a study of an image Curiosity had taken of her own wheels on Mars, and after that I read a lot about how the wheels worked and how the design was less than ideal..it makes me happy to see the next iteration and how it’ll work out!

No pointy grousers for the sharp Mars rocks to snag on here!!! Just this...veeeeery shallow S-curve.

Everyone hanging out and social media-ing before the event began, waiting for more people to get there. I happened to sit next to a couple people I had pre-stalked on Twitter from the list they made of participants!

LOSING MY MIND EVEN MORE THAT WE COULD TOUCH AND PICK UP THE WHEEL???!?!!? It was pretty light, since it was a 3D model and not made of actual aluminum.

Lookin cute together. This is Kevin Baird, an awesome photographer! The only patches we had in common were the NASA meatball (not even the same one, though) and the SOFIA patch, which was strangely almost in the same spot on both of our jackets.. (on the back left side)

Then Stephanie, JPL’s social media head, came and proposed to us with space grade aerogel, and of course we all said yes. 

After an introduction, Linda, another social media expert at JPL, brought over a top secret looking box, which she explained will have some cool graphics relating to Mars 2020 on the front and inside soon (excited to see that!!)

Inside were material samples of several components of Mars 2020, including the many layered thermal blanket, the ropes that will lower the rover onto the surface of Mars (which can hold the weight of 1 car EACH, and the rover will be suspended by 80 of them) as well as the parachute material (orange), which was remade for better strength and lightness. 

We also got to hold a replica of the sample cache tubes that Mars 2020 will be filling!

At 10:00, the event we were there for, the State of NASA, came on (a budget rollout explaining briefly how much money the government will be giving to NASA in 2021 and what it’s for) so we watched Jim Bridenstein in front of some incredible engines...

And I just..get excited when I see the rover on the screen ok..

There was a super cool internal view of how the Mars 2020 will be depositing sample caches! The video is below:

Anyway, the budget rollout declared 22 billion to NASA and 3.3 billion of that to the development of the human landing system, which will go toward landing humans and science on the moon for the Artemis program. You can read more here about this.

After that, Director Watkins and Dr Zurbuchen came to answer questions, and we learned a bit about Mars Sample Return, and the mission that will come before that but after Mars 2020, which will map icy areas in Mars’ poles. (Really looking forward to learning more about that!!) I gave Dr Zurbuchen some stickers I made and he gave me his card......!

Soon after, we headed to the Science building, to learn about MOXIE (Mars Oxygen In-Situ Resource Utilization Experiment) (I’ve noticed, the bigger the budget on these missions, the more effort they put into making the acronyms for everything sound cool) This technology demonstration is on Mars 2020 to prepare for larger scale carbon dioxide to oxygen conversion from Mars’ atmosphere for human use. This size of MOXIE creates only about enough oxygen to keep a small dog alive. Still impressive!!!

Wandered around the MOXIE lab a little and took a peek at the rest of what was on the walls and tables..

After that, we went to the Spacecraft Assembly Facility, where Mars 2020 was not, but that’s a good thing! I’m actually not sure which part is in the box there.. but soon after we left, it left too!

Teeny tiny Mars 2020 model hidden at the end of the viewing area...

Best.

At the indoor mars yard, a couple InSight engineers talked to us about how they use this area to test software before they send it to Mars. Here from left to right are the engineering models for Mars2020, InSight, and Curiosity.

Her name is Maggie!

One of my goals in life is to be able to stand in front of the arm and draw it until I understand what the hell is going on.

Also going to insert some pics I took last week because I was lucky enough to get a tour from my friend Sirina, where there were engineers inside working on the arm:

Next, we headed to the Mars Sample Return testbed!

It makes me excited to be in the rooms with dirt regolith inside.. also SmalBoSSE is the best acronym I’ve seen all day...

The “volleyball” that Mars 2020′s sample caches will eventually be stored in, to be fetched by another rover, launched into orbit around Mars and picked up to be sent back to Earth! 

More freaking out about rover wheels. This is a prototype of one that will be on the rover to pick up the samples; the wire is slightly deformable which is great for offroad Mars action.

The rover will be a joint effort between NASA and ESA.

I love seeing these posters with hints of other projects going on. So cool!!

Last stop (cry) was Mission Control, aka The Center of the Universe, where all the data the Deep Space Network gets from spacecraft comes in.

The view from inside from my previous tour!

*eyes emoji when I see Mars 2020*

The darkroom and Curiosity’s Ace’s desk, where they send commands to Curiosity at 10:30AM Mars time.

Spitzer’s end of mission from Monday (top) vs the day after it was decommissioned (bottom).

Center of the Universe!!!

Ouagh don’t step on it! Well you can..

It was sad to say goodbye to our excellent guides, but we’ll be keeping in touch!! ;)

I also got a bunch of awesome pictures taken of me, which I was surprised by, because usually I’m the last one people take pics of..! 

My jacket, which they posted on JPL’s instagram... gosh!!!!!!

And some stickers/new business card design (did I post this here yet??) I gave to everyone I met!

Displayed at Shannon Forrey’s desk!

This was a truly amazing experience, my first time attending one of these events, I learned so much and had such a great time surrounded by inspiring and talented people. Thank you again to everyone at JPL who made it possible and to all the scientists and engineers who took the time to share their work with us! I’ll never forget this day.

Also, I want to make some art based off what I learned, so keep an eye out for that in the upcoming weeks!

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 6 Part 2

and we’re back!

i have my water, my phone is plugged in, i perhaps will have a schnack at some point who’s to say

as mark lee would say, lezgeddit

i know i used it on the previous post but i forgot to edit it out and am too lazy to do so akdjsalkdj

next to the stage is one of the dance groups!!!

cai ming wasn’t that their mentor group name kadjkf

but yeah jolin and minghao are going to introduce them!!

part of me hopes that it’s mingming/shenshen/guan yue/wenxuan’s group and yes it is a selfish ploy to get more mingming in glasses thank you for asking

noisiest ones???

ooohhhh turn up

oh my god im so excited

it is the grFUCK MINGMING LOOKS SO GOOD I

WHERE’S THAT PICTURE ABOUT I ONCE SAW A MAN SO BEAUTIFUL I STARTED CRYING BC THAT’S  ME HE ELP

HHHHHH

Ok  breathing time lets breathe jae

ngl guan yue kinda reminds me of x-exo suho wiht this hairstyle

i miss suho...

anyways

weNXUAN PLEASE OH MY GOD

YUEHUA IF YOU DON’T FUCKING DO SOMETHING WITH HIM I SWEAR TO GOD

mingming and xuannie’s jeans are ripped i

guys im really going thru it

have i really not seen this stage before???  like im going thru my brain files for any rememberance of this outfits on them but like

i know i’ve seen shenshen’s but

not the other three

their fucking name is go crazy and they popped their jackets off their shoulders i hate six (6) men

su yuhang drop that eye makeup look please i need to know

shenshen is so cuteee

yin shi looks like minghao a lil bit

xuannie looks just

*chef’s kiss*

mingming *pleading emoji*

those stylists deserve not just one or two but several raises

he’s got the gray contacts in, his hair is messy neat, his eye makeup is emphasizing his feline features

ugh they really said we are going to make everyone go crazy (hehehehe no pun intended) and wreck any biases that existed

they hhhhh they put hanhan in pink eyeshadow i need several minutes

@baobeejun is dead to me bc she didn’t forewarn me about any of this

guan yue is so cute!!!  his lil wave after their introductions *insert smile with hearts*

minghao: ok well have fun! don’t get hurt :)

excuse me???  just how complicated is the choreo that you have to say that sir??

training montage time

give me mingming in glasses

thank you iqiyi

kjfasadjfas wenxuan’s facial expressions i love to see it

theyre both ready to swing on each other adjfasdk

are they

oh my god

guan yue really just said that’s the fate of a capricorn and a gemini im screaming

hold on i need to google something

 ok yeah that’s hilarious

aslkdfjl;aksd shenshen leaning away from them like “idk them bro :\”

eunhyuk and yesung right here i swear to god akjdfalsdk

i have to download this episode simply to post the clip of them edited to look like a cat and dog

aldksfjal;sdkf

while looking up something for a post i may or may not have made about mingming and xuannie i found out that wenxuan is a 99 liner and a gemini and as a 99 liner and a scorpio i just gotta say mingming never stood a chance to not get annoyed by him dsja;sldjf

also is wenxuan’s hair green???

did we already go over this???

i literally do not recall

adskfjasldfjasld

Wenxuan: can you be kind?

Guan Yue: he is kind.

Shenshen: Just not to you.

wenxuan in the one on one: tho we oft fight during practice i dont think mingming hates me :)

guan yue deadass even made the same comment about them being like tom and jerry adkkljfasdkl

wadfkajsdlkfjwe guan yue leading the practice reminds me of that one video of nct 127 rehearsing and all you hear is taeyong making noises to go with the moves adlkfjaslkdj

ohh shenshennie he got lost babyyy

shenshen is me fr fr

ooop

he got

blond hair

*eyes emoji*

oh baobeiii

oh so they just gonna play the clip of retreat like that

awww hes so cute mimicking it afdjasdlk babbbbeeeyyyy

eneikdjaf;akd

oh my go

d 

they’re all imitiating the killer move that shenshen did i 

alkdjfasdjf shenshen’s face im

shenshen is so cuteeeee

looks like this part of the post is loving 1/3 of unine + wenxuan :)

awww he jsut wants to prove that he can show all sides of himself im

mom im love him

not to be all mingming arm but mingming arm

aksjdf;askdjfasd mingming jiayi already is her favorite you can’t sweet talk your wayinto her heart adlkfjalskd

if mingming really did just wink i will k word

tnkakafdjaskd thank you iqiyi cameramen for zooming in on mingming like that you truly know your audience

why the fuck did they zoom in on wenxuan looking proud of mingming i’, T.T

weith the mf thounge buite imasdjf;ejwigpoanfdk jaiewpaodhkjei84yqtij

jae.exe has stopped working

aww su yuhang!!!  he got complimented too!!!  jolinnnnn

yin shi is super cute!!!  mom is adorable but also

right

O.O’

mom just said she’s never seen mistakes with guan yue before im

god shenshen looks soooo gooood hhhh

aish i just

why are htey all os bueatuiful lfasjdf;jald

why is guan yue literally the only man in the world

ok so

during their stage practice in front of jolin, gy had forgotten some of the choreo and like it was an obvious thing not something that was like more easily hidden

and that’s why jolin was concerned re: a few bullet points above

and so now theres a one on one with yin shi and he’s talking about how like gy would always be there for the rest of the group and trying to keep their energy up, their self-confidence up, trying to make sure that they were getting the moves down correctly

and yin shi said that guan yue sacrificed his own time for the good of the whole team

and thats why guan yue is literally the only man ever

and he is like under so much more pressure compared to some of the other leaders bc not only does he have a group with ymm & lzn & hwx who all ranked fairly high, he himself was also 3rd and he just wants to prove that he was and still is worthy of having had those votes and that the ypd didn’t waste their votes on him

google search how to retroactively give someone a hug

bithc he’s crying rn i

am tearing up

he deserves the world

al;kdsfjaskd wenxuan is like “if other groups are good, does that mean we are bad” which like yeah that’s valid like just bc another group puts on a good performance doesn’t mean yours is any lesser

just because someone else did really well doesn’t mean that you did bad

and ymm is like “dude wtf does that mean you’re not making any sense”

which leads to them having an argument of sorts which helps to break the tense atmosphere of the group

and wenxuan goes on to further say that other people are good and so are we

oh wait i do recognize this stage i heard the music

i have just only watched the guan yue focus alsdkjfadslkj

ok im good

ok here they go

god mingming looks good

woooowwwowow this is much cooler when im able to see everyone kfjaslkdjf

ugh shenshen fuck that was good

i am going ot bite thru my table mingming the absolute disrespect of that how dare you

i gotta find this stage and gif it fuck

if it wasn’t 4 in the morning i would be screaming

also weiwei looks good in dark concepts i appreciate this about him

his hair is kinda green blue we love to see it

mr crazy team i hate the disresepect of all of this

aaahhh guan yue remembered all of it

mingming please

wenxuan what the fUCK

GOD I HATE THEM 

I REALLY HATE IT HERE GUYS

I RELALY DO

WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT???

IT SURE AS HELL WASN’T ME

yaaaay praise mingming he deserves it

yaaaaaassss praise guan yue he definitely deserves it

HE

I HATE IT HERE YOU GUYS HE REALLY DID THAT I

if i had a ~cool internet persona~ it wouldve been destroyed so easily with this fucking stage on god

i have found my new icon picture i am sorry kyuhyun

hes so cute i fucking

jolin really is out here for the mf people

i really hope that they all go thru with making the cute pose

wenxuannnnnnnie-ah!!!

minghao i think enjoyed that a little too much the shit starter he is i love him

rip my phone storage after this episode fr fr

aww wenxuan wanted to give a lil heart thats so cute

a;lkdjfla;ksdjfkaljsdf;lkajsdf i fucking hate them

wenxuan: yeah i feel the same way [guan yue had said he feels more relaxed and comfortable now that the stage is over] like if i got a zero i’d be fine”

mingming with absolutely 0 hesitation: ok :)

i just wanna edit mouse ears onto xuannie akdjflsd

hhh fcuk hes’ jsut so pretty

how the FUCK did mingming get third

not to say that like wenxuan doesnt deserve higher

but like

mingming is my unine bias i gotta support him y’know

GUAN YUE FIRST!!!! AYYAYFAODSUFPOWE THAT’S WHAT HE DESERVES HELL YEAHH BB

i bet that mingming and wenxuan’s fuckng uhhhhh their votes

i bet that their votes were fairly close in number

i s2g if gy starts crying im going to also

im really out here trying to do the math knowing how i am with taking screenshots and everything trying to figure out if i should just power thru to the end or call it quits and make a part three for this

context: it’s 4:15-ish am

we are at 1:45:25 and the entire length of the show is 2:23:22

so we have ~38 minutes left

hmmm

i mean it means nothinng to y’all jsut like the voting means nothing bc for you it’ll be in the past and you’ll know what happens regardless based off of the first line or the tags so

i think i’ll just power thru bc depending on who is in the team i might not take as many screencaps

ok

rap time

big shot group

what the fuck is up with their outfits i truely hate it here

yeah i have like no attatchment to them or at least not as strong as the previous 2 groups

anyway i like anthony and ye ziming

i really hate how wang yi ends his intro like ziyi does

isnt anthony american?

alkdfjsd poor ye ziming

aksdf;alskd “i really don’t want mc jin to say these words”

mc jin: proceeds to say the exact thing word for word

awww mc jin said that today he became a fan of ye ziming

cute cute cute!

is .... that’s not yao chi whom i just saw right

no it isnt

just someone with puffy hair

anthony is adorable

his ears are so red alkdjfaslkdj

oh fuck is wang yi going to tear up bc if he does i will as well

yzm said he only just recently found out that wy is sentimental

fucking rude they are going to show him crying while talking to his mom

bc now im crying too

he’s apologizing for crying i

so like

for like christmas or cny or something festival-y (idk i started crying and couldnt read alkdjfalks) his mami would always place an apple by his bedside for him to like live a long and good life

and the production crew gave him an apple for that festival/celebration thing and like while at the time he was like chill

he was able to call her later and like he broke down and started crying and when she asked why he was crying he said they gave him an apple and it reminded him of her and  i

awwww he’s like telling the rest of the group that they should say something to their families im

shin quenfeng i am sobbing

i didnt think that this episode would make me emotional but here i am sobbing at 4:30 am over boys trying to let their parents know that they’re ok

rude

ok i think we’re moving to the stage now

if there are pyroTHERE ARE PYROTECHNICS FUCK

THAT’S SO COOL YOU GUYS KNOW I LOVE A GOOD FIRE EFFECT

ye ziming looks v Good

like his is the only outfit that i respect on this stage

i dont care much for rap but i feel like it’s important to let you guys know ye ziming has blond hair

hmmm yzm that was rude and disrespectful choreo how dare you

we get it you’re the center

i like the attitude that he has tho when he raps its v attractive tbh

like he is v confident

after journey and mc jin are literally just fucking partying back wherever the mentors are sitting afdjas;dk

if yzm doesnt have one of the top three spots in his group i will be so confused

the end of the song got a bit....boring tbh bc they kept repeating the same phrase over and over again

minghao thinks that this the best stage

i will refrain from saying anything as i made clear in my previous post what my favorite stage is ;)

yzm looks baby now that theyre not on stage

anthony and i not being able to understand what’s on the screen is solidarity

tho im very confused as to how he got this far if he cant read that

but its fine its in the past

top 3 ok ok ok i knew it im happy

wang yi got first place!

is 

minghao is handing out gum he’s the coolest guy in the school

ok we have one more group

it’s another vocal group

hou chuanjun has nice hair styling in this

sun zelin just called himself chinese sauerkraut i

i honestly didnt think there was enough time in the episode left for them to put in another group but i guess not

i literally ahve no idea what just happened

i also do not recall this song

zhou chuanjun said maybe in the future his english name will be changed to too much bc he over enuncicates his words

he have blue hair O.o

i am interestest

ok here’s the stage

that’s a lot of lamps bud

but yeah i do not recall by sight alone

i like the staging tho tbh

it’s simple but really nice

i literally have never seen or heard this stage in my life

nice note there bud

not to expose who i am as a personYAO CHI LOOKS SO GOOD FUCK

anyway not to expose who i am as a person but zcj’s outfit is literally hitting all of my soft library boyfriend buttons im here for it even if idrc about the song

hhhhhafkasdl;fjae;kl zcj is literally the tallest of the group by a solid few inches i

its kind of hilarious

aww he looks cute at the end

i did screenshot some library bf looks dont @ me

like his shoulder comes up to like szl’s chin i

how tall is this guy hold on

he

he’s 6′2

i am nodding he 

i eaidfjakldl

i need a minute

his birthday is 4 days after mine hes a scorpio i

library bf got 3rd :D

aldjkdsa i dont even stan him but here i am screenshotting away adsfkjsd

ok next episode we get to see bubblegum group

and yao chi’s group

and chunyang’s

oh shit is minghao going to rag on huaiwei?

who the fuck waas he asking im going to fight him if he was talking to huaiwei

ok that’s all for this episode

and at 5:05 am too hhhhhhh

damn them for being so screenshottable how dare my favorites be good alkdfjlskdjfa;ljd

alright i’ll see you guys next time!!!

stay safe and stay healthy <33333

[ablamarka]

What about a Rejanis fic set in senior year where Damian sets up Janis on a dating app because he’s tired of her being single, and Regina judges every girl she swipes right on (could go along with the jealousy prompt?)

Thank you for your request! I hope you enjoy what I’ve came up with!

AO3

*I inserted a “read more” button but they don’t always work with my posts, so I’m sorry in advance if you have to scroll down my post for thirty seconds.

“What are youdoing with my phone?”

“I made you atinder account.” He sighed and shrugged.

“What?”Janis asked not entirely believing what her best friend just toldher.

“You need agirlfriend.”

“Damien…I’m… What?” Janis blinked several times per second, still tryingto keep up with Damien’s line of thought. “I don’t need agirlfriend.”

“Oh, come on!How long can you keep up with the drunken hook ups and an unhealthyobsession over middle-aged actresses?”

Similarly to thelaugh track on a nineties’ comedy, Janis heard the former plasticsand remembered they were also in Damien’s basement. That was prettymuch something she was still getting used to: Having someone else,other than just she and Damien, in their movies marathons. Of course,it still feels incredibly awkward to be hanging out with the girls ina friday night, but -somehow- that’s what her life became. And sheenjoyed it.

“You do need agirlfriend, Janis.” Cady argued and earned a frantic nod fromDamien.

“Tinder is notthat bad. I use it all the time.” Gretchen said from the old couch,with Karen and Regina in both of her sides watching the scene withcuriosity. She knew there was something else in Regina’s look, shejust couldn’t figure out yet what it was.

“How does itwork?” Cady asked from the ground where she was seated in thefluffy carpet with a inquiring look in her eyes and a massive popcornbowl in hands.

“Ok, so, youjust get to see a bunch of random strangers and you swipe left if youdon’t like them, or swipe right if you do!” Gretchen carefullyexplained. “If you swiped right and the other person swiped rightat you, then it’s a match!”

“Sounds fun!”

“It soundslike rejection…” Janis deflated.

“Who wouldreject you?” Regina suddenly joined the conversation and receivedmixed looks from her friends. “I mean… Damien set your account,how is it?” She quickly disrupted from any questions.

“Oh! Let meshow you guys!” He grabbed Janis’ phone in the coffee table nearthem.

“How do youknow my password?” She laughed.

“Honey, itrecognizes my id…” Damien said shooting her a winning look. “Ok,here it is.” Gretchen clapped in the air, not containing herexcitement, causing Janis and Cady to share a amused smile. “Janis,18.”

“Right.”Janis responded to Damien’s questioning expression.

“Your bio isjust a middle finger emoji.”

“Love it!”Karen screamed excited, making they all laugh at her suddenparticipation in the discussion.

“I’ve onlyuploaded three pictures. No one needs more than that, you’re not thatthirsty.” Janis rolled her eyes.

“Did you putthat one with the pink sweater? She’s super cute in that one!”Gretchen said with excitement.

“Yas!”Damien moved to high five Gretchen, but was interrupted by Regina.

“What? I tookthat one!” She said bothered.

“Chill, AnnieLeibovitz…” Damien stared at Regina and shot her a biting smile.

“Also the onewith the ripped jeans and the one with the red solo cup. I feel likeI was able to capture your personality, you know…”

“Whatever.”Janis replied already annoyed.

“Wanna startswiping or not?” Damien asked with the phone in one hand and theother in his hips in the sassiest way possible.

“Give me myphone.”

Janis rolled hereyes and pretended not to care, but deep down, she was more thancurious to see what would happen. It wouldn’t be that bad to meetsome new people and maybe go on a date. She did miss having intimacywith someone, not only kissing someone at a party and moving on, buthaving company, someone to paint, someone to talk to while painting,someone to make silly jokes with. It’s not something that wastes hersoul, but it for sure wouldn’t hurt.

Just as shethought about this, she locked eyes with Regina, seated across fromher with a blank stare that fell just as their eyes met. Almost likethere was something she was holding on to, if only Janis could findout what that was. If only it was the same thing that was holdingJanis out,

“Brittany,19.” She shook her previous thoughts and read the first profilethat came up as Damien handed her the phone. Before she could readthe girl’s bio, the four girls (and Damien) excitedly jumped in herdirection and settled around the arm chair she was seated.

Regina was rightby her side, seated in the chair’s arm with her arms folded,carefully watching  the phone screen. Just like the others.

“She is cute!”Gretchen said thrilled.

“Obsessedwith puppies and Christmas.”Damien read out loud and tried not to laugh.

“That’sbasic.” Regina, for instance, did not hold her laugh and sarcasticcomment.

“I’m not sureI’m into red heads.” Janis finally reacted, after seeing all thepictures.

“Hey!” Cadyscreamed offended.

“Sorry, Cady.”Janis shrugged and smiled at her friend.

“Swipe leftand move on!” Damien guided and she did as he said.

“Oh! I likeher!” Damien said while swiping to see the other pictures of thegirl. She had light brown hair, a golden retriever and dimples. Janiswas sold.

“I don’t likeher.”

Janis turned herface to Regina and watched the girl carefully analyze the phonescreen. As she swiped right and the “It’s a match” message cameup, Regina immediately seemed disgusted.

“Whatever.”

She wasn’t eventrying to contain her irritation.

“She looksboring.”

“Ew, she’s inthe school band.”

“No, you’renot dating her.”

“She’s wearinga panda shirt.”

“Of courseyou’re swiping left of the blonde girl.”

“Absolutelynot.” Before the next photo appeared and Regina could throw anothercomment…

“Regina!”Gretchen screamed. “What is wrong with you?”

“Excuse me?”Regina raised an eyebrow, defiant, almost like the old times.

“You do knowyou’re not the one going out with these girls, right?” Cady askedholding a laugh.

“Ugh,whatever.” Regina stood up and seated on the other couch, lettingher friends enjoy the Tinder experience without her interference.

Regina pretendedto be paying maximum attention on her phone but Janis could sense herstare.

“Hey.” Theyquickly got bored with tinder, especially when Janis didn’t let themtalk with any of her matches, and decided to watch a movie. Kill Billwas on the screen but neither Regina nor Janis seemed to be payingattention.

As Regina wentupstairs, Janis decided to follow her.

“Hey, you.”she said pouring herself a glass of water and avoiding Janis look.

“Is everythingokay?” Regina gave her a confused look. “You seemed a little off,after the tinder thing…”

“I’m okay.”As Janis reached the water bottle to get some water herself, Reginasuddenly said- “I just don’t think you’ll find a girl on Tinder.”

“I’m sorry?”Janis felt annoyed right away, what did Regina meant with that?

“They’re justnot good enough for you.” Regina nervously messed with her own hairand looked anywhere but Janis eyes.

“Not a singleone?” Janis laughed. “Out of a hundred girls we just saw?”

“You’re toonice and pretty for them.” She said like it was no big deal. Justsmall talk.

“I’m too niceand pretty?” Janis smiled softly.

“Yeah…”Regina’s words came soft and careless as she finally met Janis’ eyes.“I don’t know why everyone is so invested on getting you agirlfriend.”

“Is it such aterrible idea?”

Sometimes Janiswould be reminded of Regina’s old behavior.

“I just don’twant you to be with the wrong person.” She looked about to cry.Looked like she was trying her hardest to hold back her tears andJanis had -no- idea what to do.

“Hey… It’sokay, I’m wasn’t even thinking about it…” Lie.

Janis reachedfor Regina’s hands that were fiddling frantic and held them tenderly.Even with their growing friendship, Janis still felt awkward in anyintimacy she shared with Regina, little touches like this or sharedsmiles, they were part of their relationship now, but she was stillgetting used to them. In a distant life, Janis thought Regina’s skinwould be as cold as ice, almost like it was meant for you not totouch it, but today she knew she couldn’t be more wrong.

The touch wasalways warm, it doesn’t matter if it was a brush of arms when theywere walking together, or Regina’s fingers touching her face caringwhen she finally let her do her make up, not even when they wereseated together watching a movie and Regina reached for Janis’ legwhen she was nervous. Always warm.

“I’m sorry. Ishouldn’t be telling you this, I mean… You can obviously datewhoever you want.” Regina forced a smile.

“You can tellme how you feel, Regina. That’s what friends do.” Janis, in a boldyet impulsive move, interlaced their fingers and Regina’s smileimmediately fell. Not because of the action, but because of thewords.

“Are we reallyfriends?”

“Of course weare.” Janis took a step closer to Regina.

“But are weonly friends?” Regina asked almost inaudible, with her head down,staring at their hands still connected. Janis furrowed her brows, notunderstanding what the girl asked. “Would you swipe right on me?”

Regina used tobe the kind of girl that knew what she wanted and did everything toget it, she used to make the first move, ask people out, kiss whoevershe wanted, text first. And in many ways, she was still like this,but not with Janis. When it comes to her middle school forbiddenlove, she was always afraid that she would get rejected, that shewould lose a friend or that she would be laughed at.

“Would youswipe right on me?”

It finally hitJanis. Regina wasn’t disgusted or annoyed, she was jealous. Of her.Regina George, the one and only Apex Predator, was jealous of JanisSarkisian, aka Space Dyke.

“I don’t know.What would your bio say?” She joked in an attempt to lighten thesituation and get herself more time to think about what washappening. Regina laughed and threw her head back.

“Fuck, I haveno idea…” She bit her lower lip while thinking about it. “Would‘Queen of Bees’ be too scary?”

“I’ddefinitely press X.”

“What?”Regina jokingly slapped Janis’ arm with her free hand. “I knowyou’d super like me.”

“You wish.”Janis laughed.

“Fine. Justget some random girl at Tinder, I don’t care…” She smiled rollingher eyes.

Janis leaned inRegina’s direction enough that her lips met the girl’s ear lobes andwhispered:

“I can’tbelieve you’re jealous of girls both of us don’t even know.”

“I’m notjealous.” She said offended and Janis raised an eyebrow. “I’mnot! I’m just surprised you’d consider dating a stranger instead ofsomeone you already know.” Regina shrugged.

“Is thereanyone I know that’s interested in me?” They gradually got closer,their faces almost touching and hands still connected.

“You’re quiteobvious, you know…” Regina said almost out of breath and wonderedwhat the hell was happening to her. How could this girl get her soout of balance

“And you’requite an open book yourself.” Janis let their noses brush justenough that she could feel a light press of Regina’s hand. “And Ido have some experience with books.”

Regina laughedand moved a few centimeters, their foreheads slightly touching.

“Don’t go outwith those girls.” She said after a deep breath, her voice almostfailing, a whispered request.

“Give me areason.”

Janis couldn’tmake the first move, she couldn’t lean in and kiss Regina and pressher against the counter touching every exposed part of her skin. Shecouldn’t. She had to wait for the girl to make the first move, sheneeded assurance from her, she needed a proof she wasn’t justimagining this whole conversation.

Regina smiledlightly and closed her eyes. For a second she just allowed a softbrush of their lips, but it didn’t last. She firmly pressed themagainst each other, immediately feeling the softness of the girl’sskin, while Janis felt the texture of lip gloss and let go ofRegina’s hand, grabbing her waist and closing the distance betweentheir bodies.

Regina’s handsquickly moved to her neck and her thumb cozily stroked the girl’sjaw, the former plastic uncertainly moved her lips against Janis’,deepening the kiss and finally allowing Janis to taste her strawberrylip gloss as their tongues played. She felt Janis unhesitatingly movetowards her body until her back met Damien’s kitchen counter andtheir bodies get completely glued. She could feel Janis’ unsteadybreath as her chest went up and down, almost mimicking the movementtheir lips were making, she threw her arms over Janis shoulders andplayed with her hair, feeling the girl’s neck shiver.

Janis slowlyseparated their lips and let them wander around the girl’s cheek andjaw, carefully paying attention to her reactions as she moved closerto her neck. Regina’s breathing got even more out of rhythm whileJanis placed wet kisses and soft bites on her collar bone and neck asshe moved her hands through her waist and pressed her fingers on herskin. Regina’s body seemed about to faint and the only thing keepingher in place were Janis’ hands.

Regina collectedall the strength in her body and brought Janis’ face and lips back tohers. She kissed her passionately and gradually stopped their makeout session pressing small kisses on the girl’s lips until theirbodies cooled down again.

Janis smiledsoftly and her eyes lit in the way they did every time she thought ofsomething funny.

“What is it?”Regina asked leaving a small kiss near the girls mouth.

“I might haveto super like you now.”

[intothespideyverses]

a modest reinterpretation of “andi’s choice” in c-minor (inspired by a post by @ambimack)

in which bowie ghostwrites a song, andi tries to go ghost on walker, and [insert third awful ghost pun here]: 

so bowie is actually ringing up customers for once at the music store that I figured rarely got business because helloo it’s always damn near empty but I guess today there was a surge of customers seeking out guitar picks and vinyls to show how Cultured and Unique they were for listening to the beatles or whomever. anyway jonah is on his guitar, doing as jonahs are wont to do, and bowie drops the bomb on him with “so yeah remember that music coach I told you about? she hates you. she quite frankly and literally wants you dead. she told me this herself. why didn’t you show up???” and jonah’s like “andi don’t fw me anymore :(” which isn’t rly an answer bc lbr here homeboy was ALREADY running late. you mean to tell me him staring at that painting took 4 whole minutes? nah. 

so anyway bowie’s like “hm let’s change that” bc manipulating your daughter’s emotions behind her back is cool I guess. bowie, totally not projecting in any way whatsoever, suggests that jonah write andi a song. jonah’s not about it tho. “I can’t talk about my feelings!” he says, which is true considering he only just started exhibiting negative emotions for the first time ever last week. bowie goes, “sure u can! what rhymes with back?” and jonah almost says “crack!” bc thats clearly what bowie’s been on for the past 2 episodes but lemme not.

anyway jump to andi @ the spoon and her boo thang who’s not rly her boo thang yet bc terri hates us is facetiming her again. “so andi, my wife whom I would die for, what’s up?” and andi replies “my best friend is moving away :(” so walker, the understanding king he is, goes “aw pick your head up queen, your crown’s falling :’)” and tells her to go be with her friends and something about a bubble machine idk but w/e we still stan.

buffy comes in w/ all the junk the ghc left at her house including a knockoff tamagotchi which seems kinda before andi’s time?? like she was supposedly 7 when she got it which would have been around 2010? but once again w/e we still stan. and buffy reads the recommendation letter cyrus’ mom wrote for him which seemed a tad incomplete. “I can’t believe my mom forgot to add three references, what a waste...” he sighs.

but walker comes in and andi’s like “tf didn’t u just tell me to drink bubble soap and be w/ my friends? what r u doing here?” and walker, the modern day da vinci, says “im here to draw ur friends as a going away present for your fellow queen, buffy” and buffy looks shooketh like hey if andi don’t want him go get him sis! 

so walker draws a louvre level artist rendering of the ghc and instead of appreciating the fact that walker could probably make an exact recreation of the mona lisa, andi’s like “*rolls eyes emoji* *sucks teeth emoji* now i got TWO of these little boys after me what the fuck -_-” but that doesn’t matter bc buffy and cyrus are LIVING for it. 

“im gay so clearly im the better sassy best friend, step tf back bitch”

“the sassy best friend stereotype was made for my black ass cyrus so if you think for even a second I won’t claim my rightful spot you are sadly mistaken”

“let me have this one thing buffy I can’t even say the word gay out loud on this damn show can I at least have this?? can I?”

buffy takes a sip of her virgin margarita and goes...

anyway back at the music shop, jonah has just finished practicing the song bowie ghostwrote for him. jonah’s like “great this is perfect for me to sing outside andi’s window” and bowie quite litcherally flips a table and goes “you rly thought u were gonna pull that corny shit??? what year is it?? 1985 called they want their courtship technique back lol what a loser” and jonah’s like hm perhaps he really is on crack but doesn’t say it out loud bc that would hurt bowie’s feelings :/. bowie says that he already booked jonah to perform at the open mic being held THAT NIGHT lmao and jonah just about has another panic attack bc what??

“what??” he asks bowie who is too busy thinking about him performing “you girl” to bex when they were younger to even remember who jonah even is. jonah’s quite honestly shitting himself and wondering what tf he’s going to do. “being around you” is cute and all but it doesn’t go nearly as hard as andi deserves, especially if he now has to compete with artsy fartsy walker who could probably redo the sistine chapel all by himself if he rly wanted to. “hm..........how can one convey how truly deep in their feelings they are for the one they love?” jonah asks the universe, bc hey it seems to always work for bowie. 

the universe responds by sending a speeding car full of college kids blasting aubrey graham’s newest hit single right into the storefront window. 

“that’s it!” 

jonah’s handing out flyers at the spoon and cyrus literally melts into a puddle and I’m pretty sure this is the first nod to his crush on jonah since he came out to andi wow. andi’s like “since when do u do anything aside from throwing a plastic disc?” and jonah’s like “last week 🤗"

they go to the open mic and some girlie is throwing it DOWN w/ her accordion but bowie being the uncultured swine he is, pulls her off the stage. “anywayyyy here’s our final performance and the only reason we held this show tonight, give a big round of applause to jonah beck!”

jonah walks out with his guitar and an amazon copyrighted product shaped like a portable speaker. bowie’s like 🤨 bc this was supposed to be an acoustic performance tf does he need a backing track for? jonah sits down on his lil stool and clears his throat. “alexa play ‘in my feelings, jonah beck cover’”. the device plays a track consisting of jonah’s angelic backing vocals, and our boy begins to strum his guitar. he opens his mouth to croon...

“trap...trap bowie bowie”

bowie’s chiseled jaw drops to dirty ass music shop floor. “this is...not what I planned.”

“this stuff’s got me in my feelings...gotta be real w/ it...”

the entire audience has a collective heart attack. 

“an-di, do u luv me? r u riding? say you’ll never ever leave from beside me, cause I want ya and I need ya, and I’m down for u always...”

buffy and cyrus catch whiplash from turning so fast to face andi. “the song’s about YOU bitch!”

andi shakes her lil head. “puh-lease, no it’s not”

cyrus, doing his best not to cry, says “he literally just said ur name but go off”

andi’s in denial bc eww j*n*h b*ck? singing a song? for her? disgusting. but jonah keeps singing his little heart out and the lyrics are more and more damning as they go on. 

“trap, trap bowie bowie...I buy you rice on a string cause you not that showy”

“art 101 cause u just like zoey”

“fuck he is singing about me...”

“fudge that netflix and chill what’s ur net-net-net worth?” jonah sings, hitting an impossible high note. queen of vocals. 

“you’re the only one I luv~~~” he serenades, serving us mariah carey level whisper notes. ariana is cancelled! our boy finishes the song, basking in the thought of how many careers he singlehandedly ended by performing at this small hole-in-the-wall music shop in bumfuck, utah. drake your days are numbered sis. 

everyone immediately deserts the shop en masse like did y’all see how fast they all left last episode?? damn. buffy and cyrus stay behind while andi is frozen sitting in her chair bc what the hell does one say to that. 

bowie goes up to jonah and is like “so um...that was...different.” and jonah responds “ikr! see, ‘being around you’ felt too old school, too...2002. idk why that year specifically, but idk it just sounds like it was written in 2002 for a completely different person, maybe even bex, but what do I know? im just your friendly neighborhood jonah beck.” bowie is shook. “anyway, do u think andi liked it?” bowie looks up to see his dorder who he’s more or less forgot about in favor of m*randa and demon child for the past couple of days walking in slow motion to the stage. how she was doing that was beyond him. “well, she looks like she’s about to cry so that’s either a very good thing or a very bad thing. ur on ur own now bud.” and he skidaddles to where bex is waiting. oh yeah bex was in this episode too I forgot. 

andi approaches jonah and he’s like “...so...song....you like?” and andi’s internally screaming bc everyone for the past several weeks has been pushing this relationship on her including jonah himself and now he just sung this song in front of all these ppl and now she pretty much HAS to kiss him so anyway ya she does. 

when she pulls away jonah blinks. “oh...dosche”

THE END. 

will andi finally break up with jonah for good? will jonah avoid copyright infringement for covering a drake song on disney channel? will bowie seek help for his crack addiction? find out next time on dragonball z!

[whizzywrites]

Zach Roberts and Christopher Dayfield

Chris has worked at the school way longer than Zach, so when Zach started his job, he was so ready to place a face to the name “Dayfield.” He also heard kids talking about Chris, so he thought he’d probably get along well with him. When he finally met Chris, he was instantly gay.

They first meet after Chris finds Zach crying in the drama room after it got wrecked. Chris wasn’t the biggest help, but Zach was relived to have someone. Chris was going backstage to grab some things when he stumbled across Zach. 

Chris offers to help rebuild the set, and Zach is like, “oh, no, it’s fine.” Chris spends long hours after school on painting the sets, and Zach is so shocked when he sees the sets.

“Oh yeah, I’m an art teacher, that’s why I offered to help.” “Oh! You’re the man I’ve heard about!” “What?” “Nothing... I’m Mr. Roberts-” “I’m Mr. Dayfield,” insert Zach’s gay squeals “But you can call me Chris.” Insert even louder gay squeals.

Zach is so obviously crushing on this dude. At meetings, he’ll stare at Chris and loose his train of thought and totally blank out. He’s usually the flirty type, but just totally looses his mind.

One meeting, Chris was wearing his art hoe clothes, instead of his hoodie, and Zach just looses his shit, since he has never seen Chris like that before.

They both happen to be senior class sponsors, and are selling tickets. Zach spots Chris, and is instantly like, “oh, shit, he’s not selling tickets, is he?”  Chris comes over with a smile, like “hey, Zach! I didn’t know you were selling tickets too!” and Zach is instantly flustered. They do start to get closer, after sitting together at football games.

After one game, Chris asked Zach if he wanted to come over, and Zach panicked.  Nervous laughter, “Like a-a date?! Like-like, uh... Come over, like a date?” Chris totally knows he’s terrorizing Zach. He caught on that Zach only gets this flustered around Chris.

Chris continues to tease Zach a bit, just loving to see him flustered. Finally, he admits it, and Zach’s face just drops because, hey, he’s an actor, he should’ve caught on. 

They don’t officially date until a long while later.

One day, Chris is sick and gets Zach to be a sub for his class. The day before, he was asking his kids about needing a sub, when Zach walks in (he likes to some up to Chris’ class sometime), and he takes up the offer since a drama student begged.  Chris: I think he’d be a great sub. (winks at Zach) Zach: gets a boner on the spot

 He sucks at art, and is just way more interested in all the little art tools, but the kids still love him. 

Once Chris gets back, all the kids beg for Zach back. Chris insists he has his own class, but Zach is free that period. He comes in and the sexual tension between he and Chris is real. The class all try to ask Zach if they can transfer to his class after that, but Zach insists that Chris is a great teacher, and that the kids really shouldn’t leave.

There’s just a lot of rumors of the two dating and such going around.

Zach texts Chris the strangest things. Zach: Guess what’s tomorrow Zach: Guess! Zach: Please guess Zach: Skull emoji Chris: I was asleep... Why are you texting me? Zach: Wrong answer. Tomorrow is Hamlet!

Zach also constantly corrects Chris’ grammar constantly, such as when he watches students Snapchat stories.

Zach is the founder of the GSA and totally begs Chris to help with it because he’s desperate to spend more time with him. 

Zach then asks if Chris wants to go to pride, and Chris replies with, “I’m usually not a big fan of pride-” which scares Zach, but then finished with, “but I’d gladly go with you.”

While at pride, a man is handing out rainbow condoms, and Chris takes one and teases, “we’ll need this later,” and Zach freaks out because 1. Chris never jokes like that, and 2. he thought Chris was serious for a minute. Chris only joked about it since he was drunk at pride.  “I - uh, I - really?” “Zach, no. I was kidding.” “Oh! Ri-right!”

. Chris gets drunk so quick. At pride, it only took him two drinks, and he was wasted. Zach, however, was just barely buzzed. Zach finally offers to drive Chris to his house, and Zach gets more drunk. Chris is clinging to him, and is all cuddly. “Zaaach, I knooow you like meeee.” “I - what? You - I - what?!” “It’s ssssoooo obvious. That’s why I love to tease you about it. You should... be my boyfriend.” “Are you sure? I - Chris, you’re drunk, are you sure? Just- ask me in the morning... You’ll regret it, please-”

Chris stays the night that night, and falls asleep on Zach. Zach is so gay.

The next morning, Zach was awake first, spent wondering if Chris was serious about it. Finally, when Chris wakes up, he’s quiet, before Zach spits out a, ‘were you serious about last night?’ Chris is just totally confused, and it crushes the boy’s heart. Finally, Zach mentions it and Chris freaks out. “How much did I say?” “I just... Did you mean it? “I mean, yeah.”

Zach loses his shit. That’s when it finally becomes official.

They spend a lot of time together after that. Of course they do, they’re super head over heels.

One night, they’re drunk, and Zach posts to his students only Snapchat (he has one for students, and one for his personal friends) of he and Chris kissing, and Chris posts a picture of shirtless Zach on his art Instagram, with the caption “fun night!” (spelled horribly, since he’s drunk). Only two students see, before they delete them, and rumors get even more severe. 

Zach also posts pictures of Chris covered in lipstick smears on Chris’ Instagram as well. Zach tries to be mockingly artsy, and most of the pictures turn out pretty bad. Some do actually come out pretty well.  The caption: My boyfriend’s recent art project - me

Chris always goes to every show that Zach stars in, since he also works at local theaters. Zach finally lets Chris backstage and Chris gets way too excited. “You mean, I can go back there?!” “If I sneak you.”

During intermission, they start making out and getting a bit too saucy. Two minutes before Zach’s about to go on stage, and he’s shirtless, his hair a mess, and bite marks on his neck. The director walks in on them making out, and screams.  Zach needed to quickly get dressed and on stage, as a hot mess.

It has happened more than once.

Still, no students know the two are officially dating at all, yet so many have assumed. 

It isn’t until they actually get engaged that people know (which is about three years later, and yes, they’re still teaching). 

There was a class that started as freshmen, who were there when Zach first started his job, and cheered him on once they found out they were engaged.

Zach proposed, via ‘inviting Chris to a “special play,”’ which was how he proposed. Via play.

A kid, who didn’t even know about the rumors and theories of Zach and Chris dating before (because most kids who had theories were in drama or GSA), asks about the ring, and who Chris is engaged to.  “Mr. Roberts.” “Wait, like... Mr. Roberts. Mr. Roberts?”  “Yes, now can we get back to-” “Like the drama teacher?” “Yes, now back to work.”

Zach, however, can’t keep it a secret. He comes into his first period class, with donuts, and the whole class asks what the occasion is, and he’s straight up like, “Listen, fuckers, I got engaged...” and keeps the class waiting, before finishing. “To Mr. Dayfield.” His first period is full of the seniors who were freshmen the very first day that Zach started the job, so they all flip their shit. 

Soon enough, the whole school knows. 

More may come soon, but since this has gotten long enough, I’ll end it here!

[fitwkay-blog]

How I lost almost 20 pounds in 4 months and became a stronger athlete!

Hey guys! This post is all about me! At 171 lbs, I was often very bloated and sluggish, and I felt like I could be performing so much better as an athlete! Today, I have lost 20 pounds and 4 inches in my waist. But most importantly, I feel so much better! Here’s my journey.......

So my journey started towards the end of January 2017. I was 171 lbs. With about 1 1/2 months left of our basketball season, I made the decision to really change my habits in order to live a healthier lifestyle and become a better athlete. 

The first change I made was drinking water. I was often very dehydrated and never really drank water, unless it was during practice. I started with the goal of drinking 84oz of water a day. The normal goal for most people is 64oz a day (or 8 glasses), but I lose a lot of sweat during practice & games, so I needed a little bit more. Drinking water really helped me flush out all of the toxins and bad food I had been eating up to that point, and I started feeling less bloated. 

The next change I made was cooking more and eating less fast food. Being that I came to college not really knowing how to cook, I was just buying fast food and only occasionally choosing the healthier options. I started budgeting my money out every week to buy groceries (which is a lot cheaper than buying fast food everyday BTW) and I learned how to cook. Thanks to several Pinterest recipes and my boyfriend who is a great cook, eating dinner at home every night became a habit. I hardly ever eat fast food anymore (unless it’s Chipotle, lord). Cooking your own meals allows you to control how much oil and seasoning you're using, as well as controlling the ingredients you use and the portions you eat. 

Once the season ended in the middle of March, I had lost about 6 pounds and I had decided to do a 5-day cleanse. I did a smoothie cleanse, where I drank a fruit smoothie every morning and night, and a green smoothie every afternoon. In between my smoothies, I snacked on boiled eggs and fruits & vegetables like cucumbers, carrots, and apples. About every other day, I would eat a salad for dinner, just because I still wanted to have a normal meal sometimes. At the end of this cleanse, I was down to 159lbs, and I surprisingly didn't gain it back once I started eating normal meals again. I didn’t do this cleanse to lose weight fast; I wanted to do it to really cleanse my body after the season and prepare my body for post-season training. Doing the cleanse really helped me become more disciplined. I found myself still wanting to eat the same fruit & vegetable snacks that I was eating during the cleanse, and I had a lot less cravings for junk.  

A few weeks later, post-season training started. With more time being spent at the school everyday with weights, tutors, classes, and practice, I started meal prepping. Every night, I made myself baggies of different fruits & veggies, and containers of overnight oatmeal & salad. Here’s literally how I ate everyday :   5:30am - apple & banana before weights 9am - overnight oatmeal & banana (with rolled oats, cinnamon, almond milk, strawberries, blackberries, chia seeds, greek yogurt) 11am - grapes and a granola bar (I like the KIND bars) 1pm - carrots  2:30 - romaine salad with lite caesar dressing before practice/open gym  By this time, it would be about 5pm, and I would go home & make dinner. Dinner was hardly ever the same every night, but I would always be sure to eat either ground turkey, chicken, fish, shrimp, etc, and some type of vegetable. By the end of post season a couple weeks ago, I was down to 155lbs and I felt great! I felt myself getting so much stronger in the weight room, I felt lighter and quicker during practice, and I hardly ever felt sluggish during the day. I’ve lost 2 more pounds since then, being that I’ve started running a lot more lately to get ready for summer conditioning (*inserts crying emoji*). 

So thats my journey so far! My weight loss was more for my athletic performance and to feel healthier. Sometimes we have to look past the atheistic goals of a bigger booty or abs, and worry about how healthy we are feeling. But I do love the way my body has changed. I just wanted to share with you guys what I did and let you know that some simple, easy changes can really make a huge difference. I wanted to share with you what i’ve learned from my experience and what held me back! 

[missopalvega]

10 Things Nobody Ever Told Me About Menopause

Lets talk about Menopause.  Menopause is what happens to a woman’s body as she reaches midlife.  The Dictionary defines Menopause as “the ceasing of menstruation” says it “typically occurs in women between ages of 45 – 50.” That’s it. That’s all it says.  I’ve suffered with what they call PERImenopause for years, which is (according to the dictionary) “the period of a woman’s life shortly before the occurrence of menopause…” ::insert confused emoji here::  As you can see there is very few words that define this “condition”.  Of course you can always Google for more in depth definitions and explanations but sometimes you just need to hear from other women.  I never in a million years thought that Menopause would be this horrible to deal with.  The only thing I ever hear other women talk about is the hot flashes.  I’ve been having mild hot flashes for years.  I’m hot blooded by nature so this wasn’t really that terrible.  Boy was ever shocked to find out all that comes with full blown Menopause, which I entered into about 8 or 9 months ago.   I had no idea what was going on with me until I finally visited my Doctor.  Menopause is so much more than your period stopping and Hot Flashes. In case nobody ever told you, I want to make sure you know what menopause is, how the changes have affected me, and some real solutions.  I hope it helps.

10 Things Nobody Ever Told Me About Menopause

Hot Flashes

Since Hot Flashes are the first thing anyone brings up when you mention menopause let’s talk about them.  Hot Flashes is the flushing of your face and upper body.  When it happens your body triggers itself to think you are hot and sweat is produced to cool you down.  That is all true.  What nobody tells you is about the severity, frequency and longevity of them.  Before i started my herbal treatments, I was having them every hour on the hour and they would be intense and last for several minutes.  Within seconds my face gets flushed and sweat immediately forms on my head, between my breasts, the back of my neck and my back.  When I say “flushed” I mean hot to the touch and drenched with sweat.  Its horrible and the shame of it has kept me from attending events and doing what I love to do. (i have since found a solution!)

Mood Swings

With menopause comes a big change of hormones, namely a decrease in estrogen.  Hormones control our behavior.  I found myself having unnecessary reactions to small things and not enough reaction for the big things.  I am generally an upbeat, fun loving person so experiencing this other side of myself was scary.  At first I thought I was going crazy! My poor family was dealing with 2 different versions of me.

Hormones are special chemical messengers in the body that are created in the endocrine glands. These messengers control most major bodily functions, from simple basic needs like hunger to complex systems like reproduction, and even the emotions and mood.  hormone.org 

Depression

Because I was unable to control my emotions and didn’t even understand what was happening, I thought something was wrong with me.  I was crying all the time over insignificant things. I lost focus and interest in the things that I love to do.  I’ve never knew what hopelessness and despair felt like until now.  I had gone from bubbly to bleak in a matter of months.  My physician called it Menopause Induced Depression. A sudden change in hormone levels can bring this on!  There are many many remedies for this and I have this one solved.

Insomnia

For years I slept like a baby, no matter what.  Unfortunately, good sleep is now a thing of the past.  I haven’t solved this problem yet, so I am still dealing with sleepless nights.  Not restless but sleepless.  This has been going on about 4 weeks now.  Since I create my own work schedule and work from home this hasn’t been a huge problem.  I am still searching for a solution that doesn’t involve medication

Anxiety

This falls in line with some of the hormonal things going on.  Nervousness about my condition and uncertainty about my future are things that I never used to worry or be anxious about.  Menopause changed all of that. Sudden anxiousness triggers hot flashes so this was a big problem for me.  The two symptoms happening at the same time has kept me home a lot.

Acne

The skin changes have been horrendous as once again I am plagued with acne.  I am sure that my condition could be worse.  I get weekly outbreaks now which can be easily hidden, however when you had flawless skin, any blemish is devastating.  I have invested in a commercial skin care treatment that seems to be helping.

Itchy Skin

The skin on other parts of my body has also been affected. My skin has become very itchy.  The only way I can describe it is like a bug bite that you cant stop scratching. I know that with aging our skin loses elasticity but I am unsure of what causes this.  It appears to only happen in the evening where i just become itchy on my arms and legs.  This not a dry skin or eczema situation.  I have spoken with other menopausal women who are experience the same.  The only thing that soothes my skin during this time is Sistah Buttah.

Night Sweats

Night sweats are hot flashes that come at night while you are sleeping.  Leaving you to sometimes wake up drenched in the middle of the night.  Things like sleeping with a fan or light loose pajamas can help with this.  Once you figure out how to control your daytime hot flashes you will also solve this problem.

Weight Gain

The older you get the harder it is for you to lose weight.  Even though I am not gaining massive amounts of weight, its enough.  The difference now is that it is harder to get off.  Also with all of the symptoms that come with this condition I find myself sometimes comforting myself with food.  I am attempting to stay on track by watching what I eat and walking on my Tread Climber daily.

Sex Drive

My God I cannot believe I am sharing this but my sex drive has definitely been affected.  I am either not interested at all or OVER interested, if you know what I mean.  There is no in between and that’s all I’m gonna say.

Of course not everyone is going to go through the same thing at the same time.  These are the things that I went through without having prior knowledge of what to expect.  Nobody told me all of this which is why I am telling you.  With my doctors help I have been able to find treatment options that work to help me stay in control and comfortable for most of these symptoms.  I have incorporated, natural herbal remedies, consistent exercise, meditation and sharing my experiences into my daily routine and it appears to be helpful in all ways.  If you think you are dealing with any form of Menopause I suggest you speak to a doctor to find what is right and what will work best for you.  Menopause is a real condition that should be taken seriously and trust me, its way more than just hot flashes.

Are you experiencing any of the symptoms of menopause?  What are some of the things that are helping you?

    The post 10 Things Nobody Ever Told Me About Menopause appeared first on The Sistah Cafe.

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[davidcdelreal]

5 Money Hacks that Have Saved Me Over $4.1 Million Dollars

When it comes to getting ahead financially, finding a way to boost your income can be especially powerful. With more cash at your disposal, you can save more, invest more, and grow wealth on a grander scale. Sounds awesome, right? But, what about saving money? For many people, the thought of saving money makes them want to cry.  <insert crying emoji>   You see, saving money can sometimes mean cutting back. Occasionally, it can mean going without the things you want, too. In the worst cases, saving money can be an absolute drain on your life force. Spend a morning cutting coupons and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Personally, I'd rather beat myself with a stainless steel spatula than cut coupons for 5 minutes. Here's the thing, though: Believe it or not, I absolutely love saving money.  Just not in a “let's spend all weekend cutting coupons kinda way”. Let me explain…

While saving money isn’t quite as sexy as earning more, it can be just as powerful – especially if you do it right. I’m not talking about cutting coupons here, nor am I talking about shopping second-hand, eating ramen twice a week, or sewing your own clothes. I’m talking about saving money on a larger scale, using money hacks to slash your expenses, and thinking outside of the box to redesign the way you spend.

“Hacks like these are what separate wealthy individuals from everyone else,” says Kansas City Financial Planner Clint Haynes. When you think about the “big picture” ways to save money, you can truly grow wealthy over time. Your strategy doesn't need to be mind-blowing, but it needs to include small changes that can make a big impact.”

In this case, Haynes is absolutely right. Using a few strategies and without sacrificing much at all, I have saved over $4.1 million dollars over the years. Can you believe that?

4.1 million dollars!

Don’t believe me? Here are 5 money hacks that have led to millions in additional earnings and savings over the years. Some of these numbers are estimates, but you'll get the picture as we go along.

Money Hack #1: I shopped around for life insurance.

Is there anything more boring than shopping around for life insurance? I don’t think so. Still, it’s a crucial step to take if you think you may be paying too much. If you wind up saving a ton of cash like I did, you may not find it so boring, either. In my case, I had several different term life insurance policies that added up to $2.25 million in coverage. Once I started shopping online for life insurance, I realized I could get a similar term policy for $400 less annually. But, here’s the kicker. This new policy would actually be for $2.5 million dollars – adding another $250,000 in coverage. Obviously, I jumped right in and snatched up the new policy for more coverage and $400 in savings every year. Over the course of 30 years, this move alone has helped me save $12,000. Score!

Lifetime Savings from Refinancing Life Insurance: $12,000. Shazam!

Money Hack #2: I drove the Lu.

Ever seen a grown man driving a grandma car? Well, that was me during my first few years as a financial advisor. A gift from my grandmother, this 1998 Chevy Lumina was my pride and joy. Not only was it okay-looking on the outside, but it got me where I needed to go. Best of all, it was absolutely free. Score! You can read the major details of my love affair with the Lu in this post, but I’ll summarize here. Basically, driving this paid-off car – and investing the difference – helped me save and invest $2 million dollars!

Here’s how the math works: By driving the Lumina (and avoiding car payments thereafter), I have been able to invest an additional $400 per month. If you rely on an aggressive return of 10 percent from my early days, that $400 month grows to over $2.8 million in 41 years. Even with an 8 percent return, I would earn over $1.5 million.

To come up with the $2 million figure, we’ll split the difference. At the end of the day, driving a paid-off car has been absolutely huge for my finances. It was huge then, and it’s still huge now. How huge? $2 million dollars huge! Check this out this Facebook Live where I share why I think the car payment is the #1 payments ruining you from building wealth.

Lifetime Savings from the Lu: $2 million dollars. Kaboom!

Money Hack #3: We make an extra mortgage payment every year.

The arguments for and against paying off your house early are plentiful, but it doesn’t have to be “all or nothing.” With just an extra payment each year, you can save thousands of dollars in interest without too much hassle or impact on your bottom line. There are two different ways to win when you make at least one extra mortgage payment ever year, says North Dakota Financial Advisor Benjamin Brandt. One extra payment per year will reduce the length of the loan, as well as reduce total interest paid over the life of the loan.  Fewer total payments and less interest paid is more money in your pocket for other areas in your budget.” When we lived at our old house, we made one extra payment on our mortgage every year. Since our mortgage was for $120,000 and came with an APR of 5 percent, we estimated we would reduce our home loan by six years and several thousand dollars by making one more payment each year. Score! We have moved since then, but we’re still doing the same thing. With our new home that we built ourselves, we opted for a fifteen-year loan at 3.25 percent APR instead. Getting a shorter-term loan with a lower rate offered considerable savings by itself. But considering our mortgage started around $300,000, making one extra payment every year is still saving us a bundle. How much? Over the course of our loan, we’ll save $8,175 in interest. Meanwhile, we’ll slash one year and five months off of our repayment timeline. It’s not huge, but I’ll take it!

Lifetime Savings for Extra Mortgage Payment: $8,175. Get you some!

Money Hack #4: We boost our investments by one percent every year.

While I haven’t always earned a lot of money, I have grown my income over the years. To put that extra money to good use, however, I have remained steadfast in my dedication to investing for the future. For us, that has meant increasing our investments by at least 1 percent every single year. When I earned just $40,000 per year, this meant investing another $400 per year. When I broke six figures, this means adding another $1,000 to our investments every year. But now that I’m earning over $158,000 in a single month sometimes, this is obviously huge! Without divulging too many details on our income and investments, I can easily estimate our ramped up investing style will help us rake in an additional $2 – $3 million dollars by retirement age depending on our rate of return. Here’s how this strategy could work for your everyday Joe: Let’s say you earn $50,000 and invested that extra $500 per year. After thirty years of investing that extra $500 and earning an 8 percent return, those extra dollars would grow to $61,172.93 on their own. So, you can only imagine how this number would surge if you added an extra 1 percent of our earnings every year or if you earned a lot more!

Total Lifetime Savings from Investing 1 Percent More Each Year: $2 million +. Oh Snap!

Money Hack #5: We use credit card rewards.

Although we remain absolutely debt-free outside of the money we owe on our home, we use several rewards credit cards to earn cash back, travel rewards and more. Since we never pay credit card interest on our balances, this is truly free money for the taking. And yes, we totally use it to our advantage. Here’s a good example: Last year, we flew our family of five to Jamaica for a vacation (this was before we added baby Janella). Not only did we use points from airline credit cards for our flights, but we used hotel points to book our hotel. It was absolutely sweet, and the entire thing only cost a few hundred bucks in airline taxes and fees. Better yet, had we paid for this trip in cash, it could have easily cost us $4,000 or more! Related:

Best Travel Rewards Credit Cards

Best Airline Credit Cards

Best Cash Back Credit Cards

The cool thing is, this is something we do every single year. I’ve got all kinds of personal and business expenses to charge, and they add up fast despite how frugal we are. If we earn points and miles conservatively and score just one $4,000 trip for free each year until retirement, that’s a savings of $120,000 over thirty years. And remember, this is a completely free hobby as long as you never carry a balance, never overspend, and avoid credit card interest and fees like the plague. As Indiana Financial Advisor Tom Diem notes, however, not everyone should pursue these type of rewards. If you're struggling with debt, you should stay far, far away. “It doesn’t matter how great the program, interest on balances will be greater than the rewards by even carrying a moderate balance,” says Diem.

Lifetime Savings from Travel Rewards: $120,000+. Dynomite!

Final Thoughts

Remember how you thought saving money was boring? With these cool money hacks, my family has been able to save and invest more than $4.1 million dollars using a conservative estimate.

Heck, it could be even more than that!

If you truly want to get ahead in life, it’s crucial to remember that small moves really do add up. Whether those moves include investing just a little more every year, paying that extra house payment, or driving your old, paid-off car, you can use your savings to get rich over time. So, don’t forget to think about the big picture. Don’t forget to consider every bill you pay each month – and how you could reduce it or refinance and save some cash.

With enough smart money moves, the money you save could turn into millions of dollars.

Or, you could ignore the potential and send those savings right down the drain instead. The choice is yours. What money hacks have you used to save a ton of cash over the years? Do you make an extra payment on your mortgage every year? Have you ever refinanced your home? Please share in the comments below!

The post 5 Money Hacks that Have Saved Me Over $4.1 Million Dollars appeared first on Good Financial Cents.

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